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Children eating pattern in this era have become unhealthy and it generates obesity


ADIE08 29 / 32 1  
Feb 24, 2016   #1
Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both school and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree whit this statement

There is no doubt that children eating pattern in this era have become unhealthy in which It has generated childhood obesity in many parts of the world. Many opinions say that both of parent and school should have strategies to tackle this problem. For the same reason, totally agree that statement, However, I also believe that there are several measurements to consider preventing such overweight children's issue.

To begin with, there are several factors that cause children have an unhealthy lifestyle which the most crucial reason is an unhealthy diet. Many children tend to consume fast-foods, Jung foods, or snacks, in which that food contain high in fat, sugar, and salt. This condition is getting worse as parents' awareness of their menu in the home. Both father and mother are busy of their work and do not have time to provide nutritious meals. Another factor is less of physical activities. today's young generations this era tends to spend much time indoor by sitting in front of computer, television, or kinds of the modern devices rather than doing sports activities. As a result, these bad habits have damaged children's growth process and have encouraged diseases especially obesity.

In addition, since the issue is established spread in, both of some people believe that teachers and parents should play some methods to deal with, for instance, They have an important role to reduce and prevent kid obesity by modeling healthy life,in which children can see their role model of healthy life. As a result, these strategies may bring positive impact and it can reduce gradually minimize children's health problems. Therefore, good example of parents and teachers provide knowledge about the importance of healthy life

The aforementioned evidence shows that, I would argue that child diet and exercise regularly can reduce the health risk for them.

Linda91 30 / 40 3  
Feb 25, 2016   #2
... to choose unhealthy food in this era eating pattern in this era have become unhealthy . in which It has generated a huge problem childhood such obesity in children, and ...

Many opinions say that both of parent and school should ...
... I totally agree that statement,(.) However, I also believe ...
putri22 33 / 33 5  
Feb 26, 2016   #3
hi adie,
first of all, i think that the introduction does not have same meaning with the question. "unhealthy lifestyle" is general, "unhealthy eating pattern" is more specific. i think it is better if you want to mention "unhealthy eating pattern" in your writing, you can do that in body paragraph.

also, i think your body paragraphs have not answered the prompt well. the task asks how far you agree about the statement but i think that you focused on the reasons and solutions. so i suggest you:

in the first body you can explain why you agree that parents are responsible for solving the problem.
in the second body you can explain why you agree that teachers are also responsible for solving the problem.
in the third body (optional) you can explain briefly other figures that also can help to solve the problem (e.g: government)


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