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Should children be encouraged to compete or co-operate? Discuss


dido272000 7 / 18 1  
Jun 13, 2013   #1
Some people think that the sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss

Researchers claim that human personality is formed during childhood development. During this period, children learn basic skills that they will use later in their life. One of these fundamental skills is the ability of social communication. Whether competing or coordinating in a group is the topic of my discussion.

On one hand, every person should have the ability of competing in various situations. In school those children who have the sense of competition would be able to become the top student and even succeed in getting scholarship to attend college. Thus individual's accomplishments during their education and career would be the result of developing the competition skill during their childhood. Although, feeling competitive, they may lose to collaborate where it is needed.

On the other hand, some approaches require cooperating between group members in order to handle the specific task. For example, during higher education career, students should have the ability of collaborating in an organized group to handle a project. The better one can cooperate with his/her partners, the higher chance he/she might have to succeed in his/her field. However, if children be taught just to cooperate in any environment, they may be pushed back by their competitors or even being overused.

Overall, Psychologically, children are at the most important stage of their life span. Individual accomplishments go back to what they had been taught and what skills they had learnt during their childhood. Therefore, children should be persuaded to develop both skills of competing and cooperating in order to use each of them at the right situation.

MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Jun 14, 2013   #2
One of these fundamental skills is the ability of social communication.

-> I don't feel that this is related to the other sentences of the introduction.

Although, feeling competitive, they may lose to collaborate where it is needed.

->Nonetheless, they possibly struggle when it comes to situations requiring collaboration

if children be taught just to cooperate in any environment

-> should children be taught/if children are taught
OP dido272000 7 / 18 1  
Jun 14, 2013   #3
is the whole outline acceptable? which score you think would it get?
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jun 16, 2013   #4
Researchers claim that human personality is formed during childhood development.

.... well.... first, researchers find facts through their studies and not claim. You can also say, "Research studies have proved that ..." . Then, I don't understand why you included the "Researches" part here. You can simply make a more general statement which sounds more convincing;

Human personality gets formed during childhood development.

Researchers claim that human personality is formed during childhood development. During this period, children learn basic skills that they will use later in their life. One of these fundamental skills is the ability of social communication.

... Up to this point in your introduction, you have failed to introduce your topic to the reader, which should have the first priority in writing your introduction. Try to stay with your prompt without deviating too much into other areas.


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