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''TOEFL'' any children can be an expert in every distinct of creativeness because of technology

Ninita 3 / 6 1  
Dec 15, 2013   #1
When it comes to the issue of technology as a significant factor of creativity for children, some people believe that technology prevents from growing the creativity in children, while others mention the opposite view. As far as I am concerned, the latter opinion carries more weight. In my view, technology has been always effective in our life and I would definitely encourage lots of children around to get familiar with it. In fact, technology brings more knowledge, provide the enormous productive environment, and learning children to get along with the best quality of the world.

First of all, at the first glance it seems that when we are in touch with technology, it would hurt our creativity. However, in my opinion, we must consider the huge knowledge of technology that would not be possible without having extra access to it. To clarify, while children encounter some novel things every day in a modern life, it would evoked their mind and illuminate number of ways for them that they have never been experienced this kind of task before. In other words, technology would force children to be updates and create a variety of things in their own. Consequently, children are able to feel it so closely that how much they could enhance their knowledge or even they had produced a new matter that they had never could imagine it.

Secondly, I firmly believe that technology bring the huge harvest of benefit for us. Also, it promote our environment by getting vast little by little. To illustrate my point, in a case of computers, as I remember, when I was a child I did not have an advanced technology in compare with these days. So, I had not been able to portray my creativity. In contrast, at the moment, children have a wide range of choice in using computers. For example, since they born, everything is feasible for them and obviously we can see that today children have an upper intelligence and ability to do things. Honestly, they are so different of past decade's children.

Last but not least, I should mention to modern life that needs a dramatically genius to assistant you for stay in a though world. For example, when we are not aware of technology, then how we are able to go ahead and contact with all people around? To demonstrate my point, as we learn to use the technology, we are pushing our creativity to render the best ability to handle a lot of problems in life. In hence, by utilizing of technology, children would learn to come over of the problems.

All in all, most of the people deem that by convincing technology, any children can be an expert in every distinct of creativeness
okaert 4 / 10 2  
Dec 16, 2013   #2
When you use '' mention'' word, it is better to use '' about'' not '' to''.For example, '' I should mention about the....''

To sum up, your essay is good but you use a lot of different kinds of words and this lead to not very clear essay. If you wanna get high score from writing section also from speaking section, you have to be simple, simple, simple.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Dec 17, 2013   #3
Include the prompt in your essay so that others get the exact idea that your prompt speaks of. It helps you earn more meaningful feedbacks too. :)

When it comes to the issue of technology as a significant factor of creativity for children

I don't find much meaning here. It is not aligned with your topic too. Your prompt asks you whether children have become less creative due to the influence of technology. You need to deal with this issue in its original sense. That's why I (in your previous thread) asked you to explain the background of the issue to the reader.
OP Ninita 3 / 6 1  
Dec 19, 2013   #4
Dear dumi, I guess I should to exclude this part of my writing, but I need a frame for my writing, I put it for all my essays and I felt this could be a suitable one. But now I can obviously feel it that this one does not work! Honestly, I'm afraid without any template in exam. I think it would help me to be faster. By the way what should I do? It seems that I am week in introduction and I need to come up with solution! What should I do really to get the 24-25 score in exam! :( { In three weeks} !

Thank you dumi

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