Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


Children should grow in big cities


Asselya /  
Nov 13, 2008   #1
Every parent wants to bring up his child as good as it possible. Place, where child is going to be grown, plays not last role in this process. Some ones think growing in the countryside is more safety, others think that growing in the city is more perspective. In my opinion, child should grow in the city.

To begin with, the main purpose of every parent is to bring up the healthy child, when in countryside there are fewer chances to do this purpose. As we know, the prices for medical service are high, which is not affordable for every inhabitant of the countryside. The final result of this situation usually is lower prices but not so good service. While in the city you have so many various to choose: private or government medical center, traditional or untraditional medical service.

Another major advantage of growing in the city is about good education. Of course, there not little scholarships for countryside appliers, but how they are going to confirm their scholarships without good foundation of knowledge. I want to say, education in the big city has more advantages than in the countryside, like more resources for knowledge, more professional views, more ways to express oneself.

However, growing in the big city is very dangerous, especially for child. There are many seductions of going by not right way. In big cities, when child does not exactly know what is good what is bad, we have many night clubs, without ID controlling, many mini markets, where do not bother about buying alcohol and cigarettes of fifteen years old boy, and the many ways to buy narcotics in daytime in the streets.

In summary, it is better for child to grow up in the city, in the quite district with big library and good medical center.
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Nov 13, 2008   #2
Because you didn't explain what kind of assistance you were seeking, I have edited the first section and made some general comments in regards to the remainder of the piece:

"Every parent wants to bring up hisIs every parent a male? If not, make sure you refer to both genders, especially when referring to plural "parents." child as good"Good" is an adjective generally reserved for explanations of things such as food; when referring to environments and the like, use "well," as it is grammatically correct. as it is possible. Place, where child is going to be grown, plays not last role in this process.This makes the child sound like a commodity, such as corn, which is "grown" in a field. Perhaps rewriting to something like, "The environment in which a child grows plays a large role in this process." Some people think growing in the countryside is safer , while others think that growing up in the city results in a child having more perspectives . In my opinion, a child should grow up in the city.

My main concern here is your mechanics; you have a good essay but I am afraid that your story will get lost in mechanical errors. To help with this, I suggest one of the books from the "Prentice Hall Guide for College Writers" series written by Stephen Reid. You can pick any of them up cheap used, or get them from the library. I think there are six in the series now, and any of them would help you here. Also, there are many good grammar guides online.

I hope this helps you get started!
OP Asselya /  
Nov 14, 2008   #3
Thank u very much!!!


Home / Writing Feedback / Children should grow in big cities
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳