Hello! I would love it if anyone could read and edit my paper. Maybe even add some insight to improve it? This paper is a proposal research paper. I am to introduce a problem, 2 reasons and rebuttals about the problem, and propose an idea to help solve it. I chose: Helicopter Parenting.
Research shows that "children of helicopter parents are more likely to feel depressed and less satisfied with their lives than children whose parents are not as controlling" (Bair & WGN Web Desk, 2013). In simplest terms, helicopter parenting is when a parent tries to control every feature and detail of their child's life. During the younger years, this is definitely a needed characteristic for parents, however, if this style of authority reveals to be a security clutch for the guardian, it can cause major effects on the child's adolescent and adult years. The act of helicopter parenting is impetuous and done in the forethought of the child's safety and happiness. However, taking on the child's challenges and making their decisions for them will result in the missing out of opportunities to live, develop, and grow into a mature and reasonable adult (Ellis, 2011). Parents should relinquish their control as children age because they will never be able to grasp reality or be introduced to real world situations.
This phenomenon has been believed to be attributed to the baby boomer generation in the 1980' and 1990's. However, for some, it originated in the 60's and 70's when American women decided to head off to college for a real working degree and not just the Mrs. Degree. They still got married and had children and, in the meantime, believed they had it all. Truth be told, the guilt started to settle in and they began to realize the effects of being absent during their child's growing years. Because of this guilt, they started to make up for the time they were gone and started to hover over their children even during their adolescent years. This helped them satisfy the longing motherly security and control over their children.
Unfortunately, due to the inability to interfere with parenting styles, this specific problem has not yet been deemed "solvable". I beg to differ in the sense that I believe if parents attempt to relinquish control over their children it could help to inspire other parents to follow in their footsteps. However, in order for this to work, there would need to be positive outcomes. As of now, all parents see is the freedom to control their offspring's lives as long as possible. The only problem with this is what is at stake. Depression, anxiety, behavioral issues and a hampering to their social and psychological development are all common effects of helicopter parenting (Bair & WGN, 2013).
While couples start to devote their lives to creating a family, they see their children as the apple to their eye. Thus they begin to allocate their time whole-heartedly to their children while treasuring the great ambition they have for them. This will result in the parents blessing their offspring with anything and everything. While these intentions are not wrong, it seems that they are doing more harm to their child's mental development. The maturation of the child will be hampered by the inability to clean up their mistakes due to the parent's constant shadow travelling behind them.
In the book "The Myth of the Spoiled Child: Challenging the Conventional Wisdom About Children and Parenting" by Alfie Kuhn, he states that communicating is not intervening on the child's behalf and that the latter is pretty rare (Kohn, 2014). The studies that are examined in this publication claim that children that are unhappy just view their parents as controlling (Kohn, 2014). While this may seem true, I believe that helicopter parenting can affect the child on a personal level, therefore, will cause the child to be incapable of making friends due to the competitive comparison to their parents who have always fulfilled their needs. This is further inflamed by the child's concerns in sorting out conflicts. It is not the communication that is the problem, it is the guardian's inability to let go of their child when the time seems fit. Children must be allowed to experience failure and fall down in order to become stronger and have the capability to face and devour reality.
"Twenty-first century parenting isn't entirely illogical" (Druckerman, 2014). While we should not try to eliminate it, it must still be controlled. Children that are being supervised during their adolescent and college years can feel as if they are being incarcerated because of the freedom they want to obtain. This can cause the teen to feel less competent and have little to no autonomy over certain situations they face during their daily lives. According to David Gutierrez, a staff writer for Natural News, he states:
While a certain degree of parental involvement is considered helpful to children's growth into adults, college administrators have increasingly raised concerns in recent years about an increasing trend in helicopter parenting. These critics allege that such intrusive parenting is interfering with college students' ability to grow up, and may even be harming their mental health. (Gutierrez, 2013).
A strategy for relinquishing these concerns is a type of containment. We should not look to completely erase parental involvement in the child's life, only to educate parents on how and when to let them pursue life on their own. Parents have taken a lot of heat from their children in their decision on what age is appropriate for letting go. After all these years, the issue on helicopter parenting probably won't be settled for a long time. While there may be some who disagree, this overpopulated parenting style needs to be managed as a whole.
The resolution of helicopter parenting results in parents relinquishing their control at an appropriate age in order to allow their child to grasp reality while being introduced to the various worldly situations. It is natural for a parent to hover over their child during the younger years. Parental involvement is a necessity for younger children, however, as they develop an understanding of reality it proves time to step back. As difficult as it may be for parents to cease their control, letting a child solve their own conflicts as they transfer into adolescence is the best solution to reduce depression, anxiety and possible prohibition of mental growth.
Thank you for any help you can give!