IELTS ESSAY : CHILDREN ARE INFLUENCED BY THEIR FRIEND'S OPINION .

Indeed , I do not have many ideas when writing about this topic . Could you help me evaluate this essay and give me some ideas .

Topic : Children are influenced by their friend's opinion . In what ways are children affected by their friend ? How can parents make sure this influence is positive ? please provide support examples .

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More and more children nowadays tend to imitate the ideas of their friends. It is easy to know that there are many ways practical ways which children are induced by their friends. In fact , None of parents can know exactly whether these ideas have a great impact on their children's minds.

The first point of this influence is that children always seek their friends whom are similar to themselves in behaviors , attitudes , hobbies. They like to play many activities with their friends . They sometimes suppose their friends can understand what they are saying and even share whenever they drop into awful situations . Another point is that children always want to behave like mature aldults. They aim to listen their friends in order to elucidate problems without advices from their parents .

In order to be sure that children are influenced in positive ways by their friends . There are several efficient methods that parents should encounter . One of all these methods is to try to instruct children to classify how reasonable their friends's opinion are . Some opinions should be learnt as a life 's experienced while others should be eliminated . Another factor which is taken into the account is respectation . Parents should let children have free opinions . Trying to listen what they are saying is dispensable. For example , the percentage of the percentage of children in my country who listen to theirparents's advice can have a marvellous evaluation of their friends .

In conclusion , two resons are the most ways hapening to students . There are also many other methods helping parents to manage their children . I believe that children , themselves , will have a good choice to help them more mature in the future .

I think you should add 2 sentences to the end of the first paragraph. One sentence should answer the first question above, and the other should answer the other question above.

When you used the word ENCOUNTER, it was not correct. That word means something like "MEET." I might encounter a bear when I climb the mountan, for example. Use the word UTILIZE instead of ENCOUNTER in that part of the essay.

I enjoyed your essay, even though it has some errors. I think it is important for parents to communicate with children so that they can exert a positive influence and help the children make sense of the negative influences. You wrote something like that here:

There are several efficient methods that parents can utilize. One of all these methods is to try to instruct children to classify how reasonable their friends ' opinion are. --very good!

Some opinions should be learnt as a life 's experienced, while others should be eliminated.

:-)

thanks for your advices .