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Children to know right from wrong - IELTS 10 Test 1 Writing Task 2


jacksonhong 1 / -  
Mar 30, 2020   #1

Teaching and punishing children



Problem:
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

Answer:

It is clear that one of the important parts of education for children is teaching them how to tell what is right or wrong. Regarding to this, there are some experts that say that punishment is needed for children to learn the difference between right and wrong, while others say punishment has nothing to do with teaching children what is right or wrong. I believe each opinion has its own acceptable reasons.

On the one hand, with punishment, parents are able to teach their children detrimental circumstance of wrong behavior in the future. It is true that by punishing children, parents are able to teach their children the fact that people in society have to accept their penalties when they make detrimental behavior in society. For example, when a child steals his or her friend's toy, the parents should punish them explaining the circumstance of the behavior when they make the same mistake. By doing so, children can have a moral sense and learn how to tell the difference between right and bad. Therefore, punishment plays an important role in teaching children ethic and moralism.

On the other hand, punishment such as physical punishment can have a detrimental influence on children. The first thing people think of when they hear the word 'punishment' is physical punishment. The reason physical punishment should be forbidden is because children can learn the mindset that people tend to solve problems physically when they cannot deal with the problems with other ways. However, as violence cannot be justified with any other reasons, the punishment should be prohibited.

If parents need to punish their children, it is advisable to punish them without any physical pain to their children such as standing on the spot thinking their bad behavior for a few minutes.

To sum up, although punishment is such a helpful way to teaching children how to tell the difference between right and bad things, certain punishment such as corporal punishment can cause detrimental issue to children. For these reasons, parents should be very careful when it comes to punishment for their children.
vuthuylinh2611 19 / 61 1  
Mar 31, 2020   #2
@jacksonhong
You used a wide range of vocabulary and grammar structures in your essays which is a good thing. However I think that regarding content, your essay is a little off topic. You did not state clearly your point of view and why. It is risky to discuss both views in this type of topic as you won't have enough time. The result is your idea in the third paragraph is not fully developed. You did not give explanation and example to prove your points.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4772  
Mar 31, 2020   #3
This essay will get a TA failing score because you did not discuss the prompt requirements are indicated in the original discussion presentation. Compare the questions from the original with your response:

OP: o what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

You totally changed the discussion topic and outline instructions by responding with:

YR: there are some experts that say that punishment is needed for children to learn the difference between right and wrong, while others say punishment has nothing to do with teaching children what is right or wrong. I believe each opinion has its own acceptable reasons.

Both your discussion topic and response is incorrect. Therefore, the essay will be seen by the examiner to be totally unrelated to the provided task. It will get one of the lowest scores possible in the TA section and, when added to the other GRA, LR and C&C issues of your writing, you will not achieve a close to passing score for your presentation.

The essay is a measured emotional response essay that requires you to defend only one side of the discussion based on a suggested alternative punishment for children. A total of 4 paragraphs are required for this type of essay with the reasoning paragraphs representing:

- The explanation of your measured response
- The relationship of your measured response to the alternative punishment for children
jinjin000 - / 1  
Mar 31, 2020   #4
Good intention generally


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