IELTS:Children can learn efficiently by watching television

Topic:Children can learn efficiently by watching television. Should children watch television regularly both in school and at home? Do you agree or disagree?

Television is populated by all people from child to adults, however, Should children learn efficiently by watching television regularly both in school and at home? As far as I am concerned, I think the time for watching TV has to be controlled. Therefore, I don't agree this opinion.

Watching TV can learn efficiently is senselessness . First of all, young students whom they cannot self-controlled by themselves. For example, there are wildly version cartoons on channels, it waste time of watching TV by accident. Besides, don't mention to watch TV at school, School has class schedule for students watching TV before teachers start a class. Moreover, school has responsibility for leaving of students. The Bureau of Education cannot make this policy on student's school life.

Secondly, media has completion. Many channels has published the exciting and attractive soap drama for higher rates, so far, most of TV programs make exaggeratory advertisement to viewers. As a result, students will watch TV whole the time. For example, Taiwan has a TV program called "Ming TV "it has hundreds of serious drama which can't estimate the time of the end which result in strong blamed by tv viewers. Students will be addicted to watching TV whole the time. Watching TV can waste much time or even worsen.

To sum up, students can use other efficiently ways for learning, such as well-organized study plan or studying in claim. Anyway, there is no shortcut for learning. No matter how the efficiency way is, keeps learning is the best way.

Without looking at your essay, list three reasons WHY kids shouldn't be watching TV at home and school.

1.

2.

3.

Hi,
First, you should post all IELTS essays into Writing Feedback forum. (I moved your essay from "Undgraduate" to "Writing Feedback" ) :) This would help you earn more relevant feedbacks :)


Television is very popular among people of all ages


.... this should be a new sentence.



... this is grammatically wrong;
Watching TV helps children learn efficiently is a statement without much sense. .... however, this sentence does not provide a reason to justify your opinion. Therefore, you should remove this line from the essay. You should start with the second sentence though it needs corrections;


First, TV can make young children addicted to watching its programs because they lack enough maturity to control themselves.