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Toefl: Children should learn to handle money - benefits for the whole society.


congcguoke 1 / 3  
Jun 15, 2011   #1
Hello! Dear all,
I am new to here. I am preparing my toefl which will be on 5th, Aug. I am really worry about my speaking and writing parts. I also need a high score to get into the school I want. Anyway, it is said that practice makes perfect. I will do more practice and please help me to improve my writing. You help is really appreciated. Any suggestions are welcome.

congcguoke

children should learn to manage their money



Depending on personal experience, personality type and emotional concerns, people have different attitude towards the argument that children should learn to manage their money at young age or not, which is undoubtly a hot topic for a long time. As far as I am concerned, I strongly agree that we should teach children to handle their money as early as possible. I will discuss it in the following three aspects.

First, teaching children manage money at young age is a good way for them to learn to get a sense of value of the money, which is very important for them to be financial responsible grown ups. For example, children usually get the money from their parents and without knowing how hard it is to earn the money. Because of this, they tend to spend money at will without thinking too much. However, if with the help of adults, let them have a plan with the money they have, what percentage they should save for his best friend's birthday, what percentage he should plan for a football game and what percentage he can spend to buy the things he wants. With this kind of training, the children will learn more about sending the money with plan, this will benefit for them when they grow up, and they will know there should be some money saved for the raining days.

More importantly, teaching children handle money in a wise way can provide them a more secured future. With the current economy system, we know that money can generate money. This is the best way to let children know how the system works. For instance, I taught my children "bank" with three different jars. One is checking account, one is saving account and the last one is CD. With different interest I paid to them, they now know that how to spilt them money into these three different kinds of account and how they can make money in this way. Plus, there is a bonus to teach them math! In this way, they get the ability how to deal with the money when they actually work.

Last but not least, learning to handle the money can make children's life more meaningful. By training or teaching money management skills to children, it is not mean that teach children to be materialism. Let them know there are something more important than money. For example, let a child donate some their own money to the school or local community causes, the feeling that he can be helpful he got at the moment will be the most valuable lesson he ever can have.

In conclusion, letting children manage their own money will not only benefit children's life, but also benefit the whole society. That's why I strongly agree that should let children to do this. Anyway, we all agree that money can't buy happiness, but it can make life much easier, also, being a financial responsible person is very important.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jun 16, 2011   #2
Depending on personal experience, personality type and emotional concerns, people have different attitudes towards the argument that children should learn to manage their money at young age or not, which is undoubtly a hot topic for a long time .----I suggest that you should stop at that point without lengthening it further; longer the sentence lesser the clarity would be.

First, teaching children how to manage money at young age is a good waything for them to learn to get a sense of its value of the money , which is very important for them to be financial responsible in managing finances when they grown ups .

For example, children usually get the money from their parents and without knowing how hard it is to earn the money. Because of this , they tend to spend moneyat will without thinking too muchunnecessarily . However, if with theadults help of adults, let them have a plan for spending such aswith themoneythey have what percentage they should save for his best friend's birthday, what percentage he should plan for a football game and what percentage he can spend to buy the things he wants. With this kind of training , then the children will learn more about sending the money with plan, this will benefit for them when they grow up, and they will know there should be some money saved for the raining days.would learn to spend money carefully while understanding the value of it. This would certainly train them to manage finances effectively as they grow up.
OP congcguoke 1 / 3  
Jun 16, 2011   #3
Hi! dumi,

Thank you very much for your help! I feel ashamed with my writing. Any other suggestions? Thanks.

congcguoke
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jun 17, 2011   #4
No, you dont have any reason to be ashamed of the way you write. Its quite good. English is not our mother tongue and therefore we are not perfect in writing English which is no reason to be ashamed of. What we should do is try to learn from every mistake and continue to improve. I found some good sentences and ideas in your essay.

For instance, I taught my children to "bank" with three different jars. One is checkingcurrentaccount , one is savingsaccoun t and the last one is CDCertificate of Deposit . With different interests I paid to them for each jar , they now know that how to spilt themir money intobetween these three different kinds of accountsand how they canin order tomakemoney in this wayearn the maximum interest . PlusFurther , there is a bonus to teach them math!this enabled me to teach them mathematics more effectively .--------"Plus" is commonly used when we speak. "Further" is a better word to use in writing.
OP congcguoke 1 / 3  
Jun 17, 2011   #5
Thank you very much for your encouragement.Dumi, You are so good at English! I wish one day I have good English writing skills too.

Best Wishes,

Congcguoke
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Jun 17, 2011   #6
I feel ashamed with my writing.

No!! That is not the right attitude. Enjoy your bilingualism. You are doing very well.

More importantly, teaching children how to handle money in a wise way can ...

Use the plural: lives
Last but not least, learning to handle the money can make children's lives more meaningful.

By training If we train or teach money management skills to children, it is not mean that teach children to be materialism it does not mean we are teaching them to be materialistic.

Let them know there are some things that are more important than money.

Anyway, we all agree that money can't buy happiness, but it can make life much easier. Also, being a financially responsible person is very important.

:-)
OP congcguoke 1 / 3  
Jun 17, 2011   #7
Thank you very much for your encouragement! I know there's low way for me to go....

Thanks and wish you have a happy weekend!
Coolmam9x 4 / 6  
Jun 24, 2011   #8
undoubtly -> undoubtedly
financial responsible -> financially responsible

However, if with the help of adults, let them have a plan with the money they have, what percentage they should save for his best friend's birthday, what percentage he should plan for a football game and what percentage he can spend to buy the things he wants. -> This sentence should be corrected. "If with the help of adults, let them have" should be simply "if adults let them have"
linh202 11 / 23  
Jun 24, 2011   #9
That's why I strongly agree that should let children to do this.
( It' s much better if you write: "That is the reason why I strongly agree that we should let children do this ."

Remember, when you write an essay, you must write the whole word, don't use any abbreviations ( your mistake: That's)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Jun 26, 2011   #10
I know there's low way for me to go....

I know there's long way for me to go....

;-)
winniesun 9 / 19  
Jul 7, 2011   #11
financial responsible >'financially responsible'
Can I ask you one thing is it OK to put ","(comma) in not only...but also structure?
because you write "not only benefit children's life, but also benefit the whole society."
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Jul 9, 2011   #12
In conclusion, letting children manage their own money will not only benefit children's lives but also benefit the whole society.
In conclusion, letting children manage their own money will not only benefit children's lives, but it will also benefit the whole society.

Both of the above are correct.
Look at the small difference. The second one is a compound sentence. This is a complex topic. Don't worry! People use commas differently; it is a matter of writing style. I like the style taught by strunk and white.

:-)


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