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IELTS: Children to learn about money via parents - educate about the significance of money


Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Mar 27, 2014   #1
Some people say it is important for parents to teach their children about the importance of money, why and how should they do it. Include examples from your own experience.

educate children about the significance of money



Beyond doubt, in this competitive world, money is the essential factor to lead a comfortable lifestyle. Similarly, it is highly important to educate children about the significance of money for their future endurance. Some people advocate that it is the sole responsibility of the parents to provide adequate knowledge about money to their offspring. In my opinion, I too believe that the parents are the best suitable person to guide their children in a better way to learn about money management.

First of all, certainly, everybody wants to provide a better life to their children, despite their struggles and financial status of their own individual life. In such scenario, parents hold the responsibility of not only earns and save money for their children, but also to help them to understand the same strategy to exercise on their own. Because of various reasons children should be made aware of money management effectively. For example, in this competitive world, there are numerous opportunities available to earn money. However, lack of clear perspective to save and utilize that earning will ultimately end-up in poor financial situation, which may also lead to acquire debts as well.

Nowadays, there are various options available to encourage young minds to use money efficiently. First, given them the pocket money regularly and ask them to save it a piggy bank. Secondly, allow them to spend those savings, in order to meet their basic requirements such as toys and stationery items. Therefore, it is easy for them to distinguish the difference between their needs and wants. Finally, help children to be aware of maintaining their own bank accounts which is in common these days. For instance, POSB bank in Singapore introduced Kids savings account where there is no minimum balance to maintain and good interest rate for their savings in order to encourage children to learn about money handling capability.

In conclusion, I strongly support with the view that the parents should take lead on the offspring to teach them about the significance of money in their life and various ways to manipulate the same in a fruitful manner.

Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Mar 28, 2014   #2
...hey , sure mate ;)

Beyond doubt, in this competitive world, money is the most(or you can say - one of the most essential factors) essential factor to lead a comfortable lifestyle. Similarly,Therefore it is highly important to educate children about the significance of money forin their future endurance.endeavors.

endeavor and endurance have two very different meanings;
endeavor - achieving goals
endure- suffer, remain in existence (this is more like an ability to tolerate some suffering or issues)

You write very well and that's why others are slow in hopping into your thread to give feedbacks :)
OP Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Mar 31, 2014   #3
Thanks Ammus1.

Hi Pahan, Thanks a lot for the explanation you have provided.

You write very well and that's why others are slow in hopping into your thread to give feedbacks :)

I am feeling happy to see this comment from you, but I am asking myself, Did I really deserved to accept this comment :-)

Kindly don't leave me saying like this. I need your priceless help for forever .
fikri 5 / 317 71  
Apr 1, 2014   #4
this is the introduction that I've got from my teacher here,I've used it for along time and the result shows better than the shorter one. so that, I suggest you to follow this pattern, hope it will work with you

case/issue = use what,who,where,when,why, and how to help you construct the issue
your position/opinion = agree/disagree, advantage/disadvantage, your opinion, your idea, etc
thesis statement =this essay would examine . . ..
this essay would discuss . . . .
OP Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Apr 1, 2014   #5
Thanks a lot for your time you spent in reading my essay and pointing out my mistakes.

Thanks for your suggestion Fikri.
OP Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Apr 1, 2014   #6
Hi Dumi,
Could you please explain where I went wrong? I think I have followed the structure which you have suggested to me
and as per the question I have written the essay having the following items in mind

Could you please help identifying my fault?
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 1, 2014   #7
Hey ...sorry about my previous comment... I didn't notice you are a senior hand ... I may have provided you that structure in my earlier comments too and sorry about repeating the same. I know you have a good understanding about it. My comment has been actually an oversight and I'm really sorry about that. Overall, it's very well written. My only worry is that whether you were able to manage time for that? Seems a bit lengthy :)
OP Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Apr 1, 2014   #8
Dear Dumi,

No need to be sorry :-). You are always welcome to provide genuine comments :-) No matter whether it is good or bad.
I am away looking for your valuable comments. I was not trying to justify my writing instead I was trying to understand what was wrong ? and why dumi has given such comments?

My only worry is that whether you were able to manage time for that? Seems a bit lengthy :)

Yes you are right, the essay was bit lengthy which crossed over 300 words. However, for this essay I was able to complete in 40 mins. Still I too agree that too lengthy essay given way to have more mistakes and make us to run out time. Will take care in future.

Thanks Dumi :-)
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 1, 2014   #9
It's ok to exceed the word limit :) The only issue is about time. My suggestion is to move from para to para with the rough draft (you can do this at the exam too) For example;

1st attempt;
1. Intro - start with the background which is only a matter of paraphrasing the prompt. Then your opinion
2. First reason
3 Second reason
4 Conclusion (have a standard way of doing this. That helps you save time)

Obviously now you have more time. Go to;
2. Add the example to body para 1
3. Add the example to body para 2

If you have some more time;
1. Add a hook to the intro
Expand on body paras

I don't know this tip would work with you .... It worked well with me and I got 29/30 at TOEFL for Writing :)
OP Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Apr 1, 2014   #10
It worked well with me and I got 29/30 at TOEFL for Writing :)

Amazing score :-) let me try your idea in my next writing. Thanks for sharing your experience.


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