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"children park" - Places of my interest - essay


sangita 1 / -  
Sep 7, 2008   #1
This is just my first attempt.Please notify my mistake and give some suggestion and recommendation regarding my writing.
Among the various places the place of my interest is the children park that is 15 minutes far from my residence.It is full of the playing material that the child desire and the surrounding itself outweigh its beauty and attraction.

Many people go there to get freshment in their heart and mind. I often pay visit.One doesn't need to go through any sort of informal deed to enter within the park. so, this facility had further increase the number of individual who go there.furtheremore, the park is away from the vivid scene of crowded city.Anyone who is in need of perfect place to freshen can choose this park.

EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Sep 7, 2008   #2
"Among the various places the place of my interest is the children's park that is 15 minutes away from my residence. It is full of the playing material that children desire and the surroundingsthemselves outweigh its beauty and attraction.

Many people go there to get refreshment for their heart and mind. I often pay visits . One does not need to go through any sort of informal deed to enter within the park,so many people visit it.Furthermore , the park is away from the vivid scene of crowded city. Anyone who is in need of a perfect place to freshen can choose this park."

As you did not include the specific requirements for the essay, I went ahead and edited for grammar only, not content. It seems though, that you have a good first draft here.


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