TOEFL: Children should play and study rather than help do the household chores?

I am going to take Tofel test.
Please give me some advice.Thanks!

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Children should play and study rather than help do the household chores, such as cooking and cleaning.

should children assist daily work at home?

When it comes to what children should do, some people believe that they should focus on their personal activities, while others ask kids to assist daily work at home. That is why there is more common belief that it is better for children to pay attention to play and study. I doubt this statement for a spectrum of reasons which I will be discussing below.

It is said that young people just only need to take responsibility for themselves, like finishing their homework on time, and household chores are out of their duty. This, however, is not necessarily true. Indeed, one of the duties of kids is student, but they also should learn how to be in charge of their family. After finishing the meal, for instance, children can volunteer to wash the dishes or cleaning the table. By develop their responsibility from tiny work, parents are like to prevent them from taking others' giving for granted and feedback to others as well.

It is also said, furthermore, that youngsters pay more attention to studying, and they are able to acquire more knowledge. The fact, nonetheless, may be otherwise. There certainly are a range of subjects which kids can learn on the books, but basic living skills are needed for children's future. Even though children study the theory about how the electricity works in the machine, only when they conduct the microwave oven by themselves, they can really know how to apply to daily life and help them live independently in the future.

Some people still argue, lastly, that underage people may only gain much sense of achievement when they get high grade on academic works. But this argument still appears arbitrary. When children can accomplish the chores they are not able to do before, they will have the same feeling. They always make messy in the house after they play toys when they are little. Parents can educate them to clean the environment after they play. When they see the clean room and gain the complimentary from their parents, they will have a sense of achievement and will be willing to maintain the good habit continuously.

Given the reasons that making them being responsible, acquiring necessary living skills, and having an achievement, it is not logical to say youngsters only need focus on study or play rather than assisting household chores.

@SunnyLai
Overall i think it's fine. However there are some grammatical errors needed to be fixed.

Ching, your opening statement was alright until you got to the part where you were supposed to provide your thesis statement. You are being asked to agree or disagree with the statement. Therefore, you cannot say that you have "doubt" about the given statement. The "doubt" is a different prompt response and does not deliver the type of discussion that is expected of your essay. When you "doubt" that means you have questions or uncertainty regarding a given statement. The essay is asking for an assured opinion in the form of an agreement or disagreement with the statement provided. A "doubt" is different from an assured opinion since an assured opinion means you have supporting evidence to present in defense of your statement. That supporting evidence is what makes the TOEFL discussion proper in defense of your stance or opinion of the given statement.

While you will find yourself scored down for the wrong thesis statement, your defensive arguments are sound. Though the grammar may be imperfect at this point, you can still get your message across clearly to the reviewer. It would be better for you to focus on developing a more grammatically correct representation of your discussion to the examiner when you can. Again, your message is clear but having a better grammatical presentation would advance your scores to a higher level so you need to practice creating more fluent English sentences.

The last paragraph that you present is a run-on sentence. It would be better if you divided it into topic sentences so that you can call more attention to your grammar and vocabulary skills. All of which, when combined, will result in a higher TOEFL score for you.