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Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence.


ducanhng 1 / 1  
Nov 12, 2022   #1

Children today play very violent games.


This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world.
What are your opinions on this?


It is argued that the high number of violence and crime is due to violent games played by kids nowadays. This essay totally agrees with this statement. I believe that children's behavior and providing care by the parents play an important role in this problem.

Firstly, playing games at an early age could constitute their behavior. The fact that children learn by what they see and they will mimic that action without thinking about its consequences, this is called "instinct". Therefore, letting kids play violent games could distort their perception and could push them into delusion about violence such as killing, murder, and shooting,... According to BBC, a renowned television program, it is approximately 55% of the number of crimes last year derived from people who think they were playing violent games in real life.

Secondly, it is vital that parents should spend more time with their children. Living in the metropolis is harsh, it makes people spend more time earning money rather than playing with their kids. As a result, parents often let the kids play games to entertain and find happiness with their friends. In the long run, they will adapt to this and might be addicted to playing games; it will become one of their hobbies. There is a lesson that prevention is better than cure, if parents play with their children and take care of them more often, the children will not have the chance to do wrong things.

In conclusion, the number of violence and crime in most metropolis of the world increases because of letting children play violent games too early and failure to proving care from their parents.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,410 4391  
Nov 13, 2022   #2
There is a problem with the stand of the writer in this essay in that he changed the focus of the essay from video games to the responsibility of parents when it comes to providing care for their children. That should not happen in an opinion essay of this sort. Why? The discussion focus is clearly indicated in the original statement. It should never deviate from 2 reasons based upon:

CHILDREN TODAY PLAY VERY VIOLENT GAMES.

Nowhere in the prompt do they ask if the parents have a responsibility in this scenario. Only violent video games are to blame for:

for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world.

These are the 2 topics that should be discussed over 2 reasoning paragraphs. The first reasoning paragraph should cover the reasons why children play violent video games. The second, should explain how the video games result in real world violence from the influence of GTA on car theft and copycat attacks on people using MMA or wrestling video games as a basis.

The overall essay does not respond to the task as required. It is a failing score essay due to the prompt deviation and lack of relevant discussion points. This is too bad since the word count of the essay was just perfect for high scoring consideration. Unfortunately, misread the prompt discussion instruction and the essay will definitely receive a failing score.
OP ducanhng 1 / 1  
Nov 13, 2022   #3
@Holt
ty very much i really appreciate that


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