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Nowadays, children have less pressure than the past age and more of the life-advancing opportunities


angga93 42 / 74 20  
Mar 14, 2016   #1
Today's children are living under more pressure from the society than in the past.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

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Many people believe that social life in this globalising era have pressured children more than they used to be in the past. It is true that in recent age many children are striving to reach their bright future. However, from my point of view, children in the past had experienced more social disturbances such as racial issue and lowborn family status.

These days, many people have considered global competition as the biggest obstacle for children's lives. Compared to the past life which almost everybody can live only by traditional field work, in present the children have to prepare their future more carefully. William Dunbar, an economist, reported that average living cost in Europe had risen by 20% each year from 2002 to 2010. Therefore, the kids must study hard in order to get a proper occupation which can support their future lives. In all, high competition rate can be disstressful for children these days.

On the other hand, there are a lot of reason to say that in the past, children strived more than today's kids. It is a common knowledge that racism is one of the biggest issue faced by society, particularly in 18th century. For negroid children, this case was extremely depressing because they had been looked down by the society while they had to work as a slave. Not only that, homogenous society of the middle age also gave a huge pressure for the children. The local children had no choice but worked hard for their land lord for free, so that they just had a little time to enjoy their childhood.

To sum up, it is evident that children in the past received much more pressure compared to today's kids by the presence of forced labour. In my opinion, societies should not give children a lot of pressure to prepare their future lives because the kids need to enjoy they childhood first.
Wolf Larsen - / 127 47  
Mar 15, 2016   #2
Hello angga93

You should consider applying a few stylistic corrections to the text. They are as follows:
in this globalising era in the era of Globalization
have pressured children more than they used to be in the past. exerts more pressure on children than it used to be the case in the past.

It is true that in recent age many children are striving to reach their bright future There can be only a few doubts that the realities of today's living present children with many challenges.

children in the past had experienced more social disturbances such as racial issue and lowborn family status. However, in the past, it used to be much harder for children to stay on the course of becoming socially prominent individuals, because they often had to face social and racial discrimination.

These days, many people have considered Nowadays, many people believe...
Compared to the past life which almost everybody can live only by traditional field work, in present the children have to prepare their future more carefully. As compared to what it used to be the case in the past, today's children must apply more effort in becoming the society's productive members.

average living cost the average cost of living
there are a lot of reason to say there are many reasons to believe
It is a common knowledge it represents a commonplace knowledge
For negroid children, For the children of color
this case was this time used to be
Not only that, homogenous society of the middle age also gave a huge pressure for the children.You should probably just remove this sentence altogether - it doesn't make any sense.

had no choice but worked hard had no choice but to work hard
it is evident that children in the past received much more pressure compared to today's kids by the presence of forced labour It is quite evident that, as of today, children are presented with a number of life-advancing opportunities, which simply did not exist back in the past.

I hope this will help. Regards.


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