(WT2) Children spent hours on their smartphones every day

TOPIC:

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.

Why is this the case? Do you think is a positive or negative development?

Whether chi is a controversial topic nowadays. Despite the various benefits of smartphones in the modern world, there are many drawbacks to overusing these electronic items.

The primary disadvantage of spending hours on smartphones every day is that it leads to many health problems. The green light from electrical devices can cause blurred-eye, which might become myopic. Children who suffer from these problems will have difficulties with their sight and other daily activities. In addition, entertainment facilities on phones including games or social media may considerably attract young users, who are easily affected. Consequently, a boy addicted to these pleasures will spend hours on the screen. His excessive screen time can lead to obesity as this child only want to use his phone without caring about exercising. Additionally, a long time of laziness might make this child prefers chatting to going out with his friends, which will be conducive to poor communication ability.

This problem is also the main culprit of distraction in studying. Games or social media may affect the children's concentration on the lecture. To clarify, some students may use their smartphones instead of paying attention to the teacher. Furthermore, at home, they can use their phones for their purposes instead of reviewing the lesson without being noticed by their parents. Subsequently, they can only vividly understand the lectures, and their study performance might be negatively affected.

In conclusion, although parents want to provide all the best for their children, they should consider giving them smartphones at an early age because of some drawbacks above. It is recommended that parents should be sure that their children can use their phones effectively before deciding that.

P/s: Could you give me an advice, please? My aim is about 7.0 in writing.

This is a failing essay that will not receive a passing score based on one specific reason. The writer did not respond to the question based upon the given question and format. He changed the main discussion question leading to a total change in discussion slant.

Therefore, the writer, who has an obsession with grammar perfection in his writing and when advising others, showed that he does not understand English instructions well enough to provide the correct response. Good GRA and LR scores are not going to help when the 2 main scoring considerations, TA and C + C have been given failing marks.

The specific scoring error occurred here:

OP:


R:


A P or N discussion should never be interchanged with an A v. D essay due to differing discussion targets in the reasoning paragraphs. This is an error the writer have avoided had he written a proper thesis response and, if he had bothered to compare his response keywords to the original prior to submission. This is why the review and editing of the essay draft is important. This is the section that causes the failing score in the final tally. The discussion provided though written with acceptable grammar is unacceptable for the given original discussion.

One can even compare the original topic against the interpretation to see the full failing score basis

OT:


Wl:


There are even more errors to point out in this essay but those would make the review too long. The main point is this, good grammar and knowing some of those rules are not enough to pass the test. English comprehension and proper writing instruction implementation matters the most. Respond incorrectly and the essay will not receive enough marks to reach a base passing score.