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Children are tomorrow asset for parent and nation. IELTS essay


Anfalia 40 / 56 23  
Mar 4, 2015   #1
In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


Children are tomorrow asset for parent and nation. For this reason, children in some countries in the world had introduced into well-paid work. While the majority of people against this statement as it completely disorder related to children who are not appropriate in terms of working, others believe that working enables to create a sense of responsibility through among younger ages' life. However, it is my firm conviction that to work will be available for children with exceptionally such live in poor family as far as they are concerned with their particular subject schools.

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EF_Jasmine - / 68 39  
Mar 5, 2015   #2
Hello, my edits and suggestions are below:

Children are tomorrow(s) asset for parent and nation. For this reason, children in some countries in the world had( were?) introduced into well to-paid work( I can't quite understand this statement, please clarify?) . While the majority of people against this statement as it completely disorder (is)related to children who are not appropriate in terms of working, others believe that working enables to create a sense of responsibility through among younger ages' life. However, it is my firm conviction that to work will be available for children with exceptionally such live in poor family as far as they are concerned with their particular subject schools. ( Good opening, you are laying out the points, that you will be arguing.)

In a gist, these days the majority of children in many countries earn enough money to make a living. As they have enough ability to get a job, they are more likely to continue the job as their hobbies. As an obvious example, many under(age) teen children in America work as artists. They work full time to meet their daily necessity and to help their parents to finance their study (studies) through further degrees. As an inevitable result, children do not have enough time to study due to their quality time for studying(as is being) is been used for working.

Admittedly, societies contend this argument to be wrong owing to the fact that under(age or aged) teens ages is the time to acquire a wide knowledge. What it is important is how they (are) enabled to concentrate and focus well on their studies at school, not been (being) forced to work in their inappropriate time. In consequence, children's bright future determines how well they obtain knowledge.

Conversely, the way to build responsibility up into children's soul is by training to work experience. By doing so, children are estimated to gain wide experiences such meeting new friends in a workplace. Unintentionally, children are able to have mental agility due to (from) communicat(ation) with other people in all ages frequently. Take into account from this (the) argument that children will improve their critical thinking further compared to their friends in their ages who only study without earning money.

Personally speaking( Is this your opinion or experience, it would be great if you elaborated :)?), it seems that real work has to be done by adult people. How about poor (a) family which they have that has to survive to make a living for food consumption and children's education? This is that Children are supposed to take a part to earn money in their spare time to help their parents to finance their education. It does not matter for children as far as they can balance their time for studying and working. In consequence, children will be more mature to face a reality of life. ( Your argument in this paragraph is not clear, do you agree or disagree or are you arguing both sides?)

On the whole, although the majority of children in this world commonly earn enough money to make a living, I personally argue that they should take priority over studying at school through the further degree due to the fact that education is a basic step of their bright future. Where possible, parents should allow their children to study not for working, and government should create a new rule for children under age which is forbidden to make a living. Good closing, you argument is clear!

Hi! You have a great vocabulary and your ideas on child labor are great ones, you have good points. The only thing is some of your sentences were a little unclear as to what you were trying to say. I have placed suggestions ;). I think a great quote or maybe a couple paragraphs with statistics or percentages about child labor will be great to discuss in the views. A personal experience would be great as well! I would love to read more on this topic!


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