parents and schools play a huge part in a child's healthy lifestyle
Most youngsters today do not live a healthy lifestyle because they would rather eat fast food than nutritious food and play games or watch TV shows than exercise. It is the responsibility of both parents and schools to deal with this situation. I absolutely agree on this point. I feel that parents and schools should work together to overcome this problem by adopting new behaviors.
Children go to school to receive an education, and they spend the majority of their time there. Therefore, I think that schools play a significant role in helping students develop healthy behaviors. To encourage kids to have a nutritious meal, it is recommended that they provide them with healthy lunches and snacks in addition to banning junk food from the cafeteria. Additionally, schools may begin a new phase of instruction. Teachers should support learners in forming new habits by creating academic materials that call for exercise to support brain function. Children might exercise their bodies more frequently in this way, reducing obesity and other ailments brought on by an unhealthy lifestyle.
It is nevertheless crucial for parents to model a healthy lifestyle for their children in the meantime. Despite being busy at work or with other engagements, parents should spend more time with their kids. As a consequence, relationships between parents and children will be strong. So even when their kids don't like it, they can demand them do everything they say. For instance, they may work out together once or twice each week and serve nutritious breakfasts each morning before the kids leave for school. However, parents may offer their kids any cheat day off within the healthy living program so they won't become exhausted.
To summarise, parents and schools play a huge part in a child's healthy lifestyle, and they have a variety of strategies at their disposal to address the issue.
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There are 2 errors in the prompt restatement presentation:
1. The thesis statement should come at the end of the paragraph in support of the writer's opinion. It should not be the topic sentence.
2. The writer is offering a solution in an essay that does not ask for a solution opinion. No suggestions should be made if not required as it will result in a discussion alteration and lower the TA score.
The writer does not sound confident in his opinion explanation with regards to the school's responsibility in the situation. Words of uncertainty create a problem for the supporting writer's opinion discussion. It weakens the reasoning paragraph since the writer cannot convince the reader of his opinion. How can he do that when he questions his opinion himself? The opinion now lacks clarity, which will affect the C+C score.
Contractions in the presentation will also have an effect on the GRA score. Remember that the words need to be spelled out to show that the writer is properly using the word(s) in the sentence.
By the way, I am not watching the essay, that means looking at a series of moving images. I am reading the essay, which refers to static words written on a page.