band score please.
The children who grow up in a family short of money are more capable of dealing with problems in adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Indeed, one of the most influential element in children's personal development is family background. Obviously, some people believe that the children who grow up in an impoverished family are less likely to solve issues which face them during adolescence while others think that the adults who are nurtured by an affluent family have many more opportunities to solve troubles during their teenage years.
In my opinion, individual's problem-solving ability comes from the knowledge which is obtained during his or her adolescence. In fact, children from poor families face problems during their education. The reason for this is sometimes parents do not want to give their children to reputable schools because of indigent family income. Moreover, some parents order to their children to earn money from an early age. Because of their destitute knowledge, they do not have ability to solve difficulties.
On the other hand, children who highly-educated and affluent are more likely to find solution to their problems. In my view, they are not only better off economically but also they can easily take access from others. It is true that if we compare well-off adults with impoverished children, children from wealthy family have a lot of chances in problem-solving. In a nutshell, they are at an advantage in harass-solving.
To sum up, I want to mention that children who from an affluent family can also attend social meetings, parties freely, and, there they improve their life skills and social contact. In addition I would like to add extra point that parents need provide their children with needed things.
I think you can also compare and contrast the wealthy and poor families. I believe that some countries, the poor families are aiming for everything. On the other hand, the wealthy kids are just living the way they want to. Just a point but your essay is pretty good and solid.
who are highly-educated and affluent are more likely to find solutions to their problems
they can easily take access from others => i don't understand what you mean by this. Do you mean they get to communicate and socialize with others more?
parents need to provide
On the other hand, children who highly-educated and affluent are more likely to find solution to their problems. instead of this perhaps you should say: "On the other hand, children who grow up in an affluent family have access to proper education since they were young. Consequently, they are able to deal with problems very well..." and then explain a bit more.
if we compare well-off adults with impoverished children => i don't think you should compare well-off adults with impoverished children. It'd better be well-off children and poor children
the conclusion doesn't sound relevant to me. the task touches on the ability to deal with problems of children so you should concentrate on that. If you want to add some ideas of your own, make some connections with the task.
Anyway, great vocab!
Best.
