Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


Writing task 1 (Chile's demographic from 1975 to 2035, categorized by age)


anhlog 1 / -  
Feb 25, 2022   #1

The population of Chile by age group between 1975 and 2035



The line graph gives information about Chile's demographic from 1975 to 2035, categorized according to their ages.
Overall, the 15-64 years group has a percentage far surpass than those of the other though at present or future. The proportion of the youngest group has been declining and is expected to keep doing so. In contrast, that of the oldest one has been expressing an opposing trend.

From 1975 to 2015, the graph for oldest people was characterized by a 2- stage upward trend that comprised a slight increase in 1975-2005 and a sharp one in 2005-2015 peaking at 10%. Opposing trends were observed in the others as the number of 15-64 years group increased sharply, peaking at 70% in 2015, and that of the youngest one decreased by roughly 16%.

In the next 20-year period, only the oldest people's proportion is expected to keep rising by approximately 15% in 2035. However, the two aforementioned graphs are projected to reflect the downward trend but at different paces, with the former and the latter respectively reducing from the initial point of 60 and 17 %.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4772  
Feb 25, 2022   #2
from 1975 to 2035,

An incorrect word equivalent usage is present for the word "between' from the original presentation. The alternate words could have been:

In the midst of
bounded by
midway

There are always keywords provided in the original that will test the LR and skills of the exam taker. The word "between" was one of those extra scoring words for the LR section. In this case, the exam taker lost points rather than gained points.

Aside from the word usage concerns, the writer also shows a problem with thought clarity in relation to the cohesiveness and coherence of his paragraphs. He always combines 2 sets of information in one sentence, causing an overly long sentence whose content is not easy to track due to the extremely long sentences. Since there is a maximum 5 sentence allowance per paragraph, he should strive to present the information clearly in specific and individual sentences as opposed to compressed sentence and information presentation. Such confusing sentences will definitely lower the GRA score of the student.


Home / Writing Feedback / Writing task 1 (Chile's demographic from 1975 to 2035, categorized by age)
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳