ESSAY: CHILHOOD'S THE THE HAPPIEST TIME OF ONE'S LIFE

Hi...I m From Indonesia, i write an essay for preparing my toefl test. I need your help for correcting my essay...thank you before

CHILHOOD'S THE THE HAPPIEST TIME OF ONE'S LIFE

Most of people think childhood is the happiest time of their life. I am agree with this point of view. Childhood is a state of time being child that is full of fun. Children almost enjoy whole of their time. Children's life is free from some responsibilities and challenges of the adulthood,

they never think about what people think, they just do what they like. They don't live with the competitiveness like adult's life.

First of all, children passe their activities free from the responsibilities. A child never think about the effect of their do, they obtain everything seems easy. Other wise adulthood is full of responsibilities. An adult has a responsibilities for their life. They should make the right decision in facing a problem. What they decide today will bring effect for their future. So, before doing something an adult has to think a lot, it can bring good effect or bad effect for him/her. The child always do what they want. They do freely, never thought it is dangerous or not, they just try it.

Second, children do something free from judgment. What ever the adults warn them to not do that, they will do because of their curious feeling. An adult lives with the norms. Before they do something they should think it's suitable with the norms that behaves in their society or not. In other wise some of adult's do sometimes influenced by others' thought, So the adult is sometime afraid of doing somethings because other's thought.

Third, a child has a lot of friends with innocent soul and heartfelt affection. Adults have to go to work. They have a lot of colleagues who always in competitive position to struggle for their ambition regardless of safety of other people. At that time, we often think of the days when we were young, we had lots of friends who were very kind - hearted and always eager to help and protect us. No one can deny that it was the happiest time in their lives.

To sum up, childhood is a period that human don't have any responsibility, obtaining everything seems easy, doing what they want to do, having many friends . That's why I agree to this statement that childhood is the happiest time of a person's life.

I feel like you repeat a lot of points in the essay, such as children being free of responsibilities.

Some sentences are too wordy. Try rewriting it differently.

I am not the best person with grammar, but you have a lot of grammatical errors. I would advise you to ask your english teacher to take a look on it and give you some helpful feedback :)

Sorry if I was kind of harsh... but I hope I was somewhat helpful.

I am agreeable/ I agree



... as it is it sounds meaningless :(
Children are in a state of mind to enjoy their day because they are free from responsibilities, challenges and the severe competition of adult life.


This line is very confusing :( Cannot understand what you mean and I suggest you to rephrase it again.