Hi everyone!
I had this question on my actual exam and I failed it.(I'm ashamed to say so, but it happened). I don't remember exactly the prompt, but something like this: Can V-chip device use for parents to block the channels that they don't want their children to view. Agree or disagree? Please help me with my grammar, sentences...I will have the test again this Sat. I'm so scare. Whenever I think about the test, I would sweat and feel that I will fail again. Thanks in advance
My response
Nowadays parents are worry because their children spend as much as five to six hours for watching television; especially, it offers so many unwanted content channels for the watchers. Fortunately, v-chip is one of the effective ways to prevent children from viewing these unsafe media by helping parents to block objectionable shows, preventing children from obscene and indecent programming, and reducing hours of watching television.
There are too many violent scenes on objectionable shows. Some experts say there are 25 acts of violence per hour on television. The fights, shootings, and crimes are threatening people. Besides, the actions may seem too real to handle which influence children' behavior negatively. Young people tend to imitate what they watch on the shows and may start to behave more aggressively.
In addition, television has ton of obscene and indecent programming that content inappropriate images and language for children. Instead of watching television to learn new things around the world, teenagers might draw to media coverage that is inappropriate for their age. Gradually, this kind of language immerges naturally in their daily lives and becomes a phenomenon that is hard to accept.
V-chip device is an effective tool to prevent television addiction. Many children flop down in front of the television right after going home from school. They spend too many hours to watch their favorite shows, and have very little time to do physical activities that can cause of obesity and overweight. With V-chip, parents can choose educational channels and set adequate time, which form a good habit for children.
These are the main factors for having V-chip device. It is one of the best ways to help secure children from negative content television channels. It is time to realize how harmful for children to watch the shows without parents concern, and it is time to save our children from it.
Nowadays parents are worry becauseabout their children spendspending as much as five to six hours for watching television; especially, it offers so many unwanted content channelsprograms for the watchers. Fortunately, v-chip is one of the effective ways way to prevent children from viewing these unsafe media by helping parents to block objectionable shows, preventing children from obscene and indecent programming, and reducing hours of watching television.
This is few mistakes that I found in Paragraph 1.
Thx.
Paragraph 3:
In addition, television has ton of obscene and indecent programming that content inappropriate images and language for children. Instead of watching television to learn new things("learn new things" seems a bit cheesy) , around the world teenagers around the worldmighttend to draw to media coverage that is inappropriate for their age. Gradually, this kind of language immerges(I don't think immerges is the right verb paired with the preposition "in") naturally in their daily lives and becomes a phenomenon that is hard to acceptthat is hard to stop .
("hard to accept" just contradicts your own idea)
They spend too so much many hours time watching their favorite shows.
"too...to" has another meaning.
Thanks for all the ideas that helping me on my essay, especially Mark, you have helped me with my previous essays too. I don't like this essay at all because I don't have any idea for it... I don't feel that I like to write on this topic too. V-chip is legally used by parents, why they ask to write for an agrument? I know the bottom point is they just test to see if I can write well; it doesn't matter it's reasonable or not..Anyway, I will rewrite 3 times on each essay
