Unanswered [2] / Urgent [0] / SERVICES
Home / Writing Feedback   6

A Contributor has already posted here! For more answers, please re-open and Urgent this thread!

Choose one of the following transportation vehicles - essay, change lives

Nov 18, 2008   #1
Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people's lives.
The one of the biggest human's invention is transportation. Any kind of transportation conveys not only people, but also information. Therefore we can image that rest of the discoveries could not be invented without transportation. So, what kind of transportation have changed our lives most of all? Nowadays, none of transportation does not develop so many varieties like automobile does.

To begin with, it is universal. In the morning we usually get to work by automobile: someones by bus, someones by cars, because helicopter take special parking place, which is not have every offices, and it is not affordable. What about bicycle, maybe it is good for our health and takes less time to get to work, but by bicycle you can not go far. Thus, as it is comfortable, automobiles choice of majority people, who prefer to leave bicycle and airplanes for hobbies.

The additional advantages of automobile that it has big future. Nowadays creating new automobiles which do not pollute air are becoming popular in many big companies, of course, their are not so affordable for average social class, but in futher future they will be. Firstly, because, if one company invented something it means that another company would try to do something but better and cheaper. Secondly, because, if good is expensive, there will no demand for it, inasmuch as main class of customers is average social class. These two factors will influence to popularity and low cost of automobiles that do not make harm to nature.

In conclusion, none of transportation vehicles is not so comfortable and affordable as automobile. None of transportation vehicles does not play so big role in our routing day as automobile. None of transportation vehicles does not develop in so different ways as automobile, in spite of is not the oldest transportation vehicles.

Good evening.

As with your other posts, my main concerns are mechanics and grammar. Please see my suggestions for assistance in these areas. Here are some corrections for the first section to get you started:

"One of the most important human inventions is transportation. Transportation of not only people, but of information as well. We can imagine that many discoveries would never have been found if it were not for transportation. What kind of transportation has changed our lives the most of all? No other mode of transportation has developed so many varieties and benefits as that of the automobile."

Moderator, EssayForum.com
OP Asselya  
Nov 19, 2008   #3
thank u very much!)))

may i ask question?...it is ok if will use sentences with question? i mean toefl is academic style, while sentences with question is not always academicly...???

it will better if i will use example in each mini paragraphs or at least on example in pasaage??
I am trying to improve my writing,too.

I think it's not hard to find the answer or information.

global-english.lefora.com/2008/06/21/ibt-toefl-writin g-tip-1-basic-format-for-a-toefl-i/page1/

global-english.lefora.com/2008/09/08/essay-writing-ba sics/page1
EF_KevinThreads: 8
Posts: 13,840
[Contributor] 129  
Dec 11, 2008   #5
Hi Asselya and Camellia, what is this question about questions? There is nothing wrong with posing questions in academic writing. Sometimes, in fact, a whole essay or research paper can be based on a thesis question.

Maybe I don't fully understand what you are asking... Are you asking whether or not it is okay to ask a question in your essay? It is great to POSE A QUESTION and then answer it in the essay.
OP Asselya  
Dec 13, 2008   #6

Home / Writing Feedback / Choose one of the following transportation vehicles - essay, change lives