Choose one resource that is disappearing to save it - toefl test

Many parts of the world are losing important natural resources, such as forests, animals, or clean water. Choose one resource that is disappearing and explain why it needs to be saved. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Like a hurricane that brings fear and panic all over with its powerful winds, uprooting trees and disrupting belief in an all-merciful God, so the human development too has swept across all natural environments. Within resources more critical is water. Many people think that next wars will be for taking control of this vital element. It is necessary that the entire society takes consciousness about the overuse of the water and its consequences.

When I was a child, I do not remember hearing anybody speaking about the importance of the water. I played with my friends to get wet with water when the weather was hot. In the primary school, teachers did not teach topics related to this matter. In this new century just scientists have presented researches that explain the difficult situation for the human race if this resource runs out. Moreover, some investigations forecast the end of the world in 2070 which is not an exaggeration considering that some species of animals already have extinguished.

Nowadays, governments are promoting the optimum use water through advertisement and laws that punish people or enterprises when they not take care of this element. For example, if an industry uses more water than authorized it has to pay a lot of money. Also, if a family spends too much water during the summer it has an extra charge in its bill. A strategy to solve the need that generates the limitation of this resource has been the use of seawater for specific activities such as, copper mine process.

The lack of water is the most important problem that society must solve if wants to last for more time and to leave a good legacy for next generations. While people, governments and enterprises do not change their practices it is impossible to think about a happy future for humanity. In this moment some positive actions are being realized, but still they are not enough.

After this, you can give examples on what kind of difficult situation we are facing. That is, what exactly would likely to happen if there is not enough water.


This sentence is abrupt and does not follow from the previous sentence.
It talks about animal, which is another natural resources that is disappearing.

Also, remember to indent when writing an essay!

My suggestion is :

Maybe you need put some efforts on structure .Some main idea sentences may help at the beginning of every paragraph.

I like your first sentence a lot!

Within Among the resources that are most critical is water. Many people think...

When I was a child, I do not ...---- this is incorrect.
I do not have any childhood memories of hearing anybody speaking about the importance of the water.

A strategy to solve the need that generates the limitation of problems associated with scarcity of this resource has been the use of seawater for specific activities such as, copper mine process.

The lack of water is the most important problem that society must solve if wants to last for more time and to leave a good legacy for next future generations. While people, governments and enterprises do not ...

I agree!!