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TOEFL: Would you choose your own roommate?


Please correct it. Thank you in advance.
You have been told that dormitory rooms at your university must be shared by two students.
Would you rather have the university assign a student to share a room with you, or would you rather choose your own roommate?
Use specific reasons and details to explain your answer. 


Living with someone for a period of life is a huge commitment because it inevitably comes with responsibility as well as staying at home with family.

There is a question whether I select my roommate if I must share the room with others. Personally, I believe that unless I can choose my roommate,

it will be suffering rather than happiness for the following reasons.

To begin with, roommates who have mutual characteristics basically show compatibility in needs, cultures, religious and interests.
Without compatibility in common basic requirements, persons would be uneasy to live together. For example,
one of my friends who has lived with her dissimilar roommate, they often enter into conflict because of a few normal problems.
Especially, feuding with her roommate over different time taken for individual activities like reading books.
While one is reading book, another is watching television.

Not only does choosing own roommate result in compatibility but also it leads to maintain long relationships.
Comparatively, life in university takes at least two years so staying with a person feels longer than that.
Staying with roommate is to treat he/she as a member of family because roommate will participates in a person's daily lives
including having meals, playing games, doing housework , or even making crucial decision in some situations.
As a result, this increases reliability in each other. Friends of mine who have own-chosen roommates are examples.
They continue to stay with their roommates in apartments after graduating from university because positive impression
and used-to-be environment cause them to keep roommate closely as same as previous moment.

To conclude, I am of opinion that selecting my roommate is what suits me the most because it provides roommate who shares compatibility.
Also, this benefits in long-run keeping companions.

Jun 19, 2014   #2
To begin with, roommates who have mutual characteristics basically show compatibility in needs, cultures, religious and interests.
Without compatibility in common basic requirements, persons would be uneasy to live together. For example,
one of my friends who has lived with her dissimilar roommate, they often enter into conflict because of a few normal problems.
Especially, feuding with her roommate over different time taken for individual activities like reading books.
While one is reading book, another is watching television.

I think you should rewrite these 2 sentences :) They are simple and not quite clear, and maybe grammatically wrong (is it)?

Not only does choosing own roommate result in compatibility but alsobut it also leads to maintaining long relationships.
Comparatively, life in university takes at least two years so staying with a person feels longer than that.
Staying with roommate is to treat he/she as a member of family because roommate will participates in a person's daily lives
including having meals, playing games, doing housework , or even making crucial decisions in some situations.
As a result, this increases reliability in each other. Friends of mine who have own-chosen roommates are examples.
They continue to stay with their roommates in apartments after graduating from university because positive impression
and used-to-be environment cause them to keep roommate as closely as same asasthe previous moment.

To conclude, I am of opinion that selecting my roommate is what suits me the most because it provides roommate who shares compatibility.
Also, this benefits in long-run keeping companions .

what do you mean by this green sentence??? Next time you should write it more clearly Your common problem is too simple sentences :) Combination will improve your essay significantly :D Good luck~
I think you should rewrite these 2 sentences :) They are simple and not quite clear, and maybe grammatically wrong (is it)?

what do you mean by this green sentence??? Next time you should write it more clearly Your common problem is too simple sentences :) Combination will improve your essay significantly :D Good luck~

You are right. My problem is is too simple and unclear sentences.
All my best effort, I try to improve them regrading your advice which helps me a lot :)
Here is my corrections.

To begin with, roommates who have mutual characteristics basically show compatibility in needs, cultures, religious and interests.
Without compatibility in common basic requirements, persons would be uneasy to live together. For example,
one of my friends who has lived with her dissimilar roommate, they often enter into conflict because of a few normal problems.
Especially, feuding with her roommate over different time taken for individual activities like reading books.
While one is reading book, another is watching television.
Especially, incompatibility in individual time taken, while one is reading book, the other is watching television, causes of great interruption.

To conclude, I am of opinion that selecting my roommate is what suits me the most because it provides roommate who shares compatibility . Also, this benefitsin long-run keeping companionsand also benefits in preserving relationship with friend in the long run.

don't forget giving space after comma

Thank you for your remind :)


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