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(choosing fields of study based on job availability) - GRE issue


Halehh 2 / 2 1  
Oct 25, 2012   #1
this is a GRE issue, I will be grateful for any help grammatical or logically. Thanks!

College students should base their choice of a field of study on the availability of jobs in that field.

Every student in colleges should opt his/her field of study. This is an important decision, because choosing field of study plays a significant role in students' future and determines their future job scope. The author contends that students choose fields which provide a higher opportunity for finding job in future. Generally I don't agree with this statement in what follows the drawbacks of choosing fields of study based on job availability are discussed.

The first drawback is that it wastes students' talent and ignore their interests. There are students who have special talent in a particular field and if they choose a field which is more probable in finding job in future than their talented filed, they will definitely waste their talents. For instance assume a student who is so genius in arts such as painting but he selects computer science field because it is said that CS provides a better job availability. It is obviously a waste of talent. Maybe if he entered art, he could be a great and famous painter instead of a regular CS expert. Beside choosing field of study based on job availability ignores students' interests. It is likely that a student becomes bored, depressed or even aggressive because he doesn't like his field and at last abandons his school and remain unemployed.

The second drawback is that if all students select some particular fields based on job availability, the society will suffer from lack of knowledgeable people and experts in other areas. For example, in my country lots of students choose electrical engineering and computer science because there are lots of companies who want to hire them after graduation. But in the other hand they are less interested fields such as psychology because it doesn't have a high job availability and because of that less research and efforts are done in this field and my suffer from lack of knowledge in this scope.

However, some people argue that if students select fields based on job availability, their job in the future will be guaranteed after graduation and they don't need to worry about financial issues after their graduation. This argument is not true in some cases. Maybe a field of study loses its job availability and many students who had chosen this job because of its job availability remain unemployed.

In conclusion, I believe that choosing fields of study based on job availability wastes students' talent and in some cases causes emotional problems for student. Besides it impedes knowledge progress in other area by causing density in some particular fields. Furthermore it cannot totally guarantee students' future job because it is probable that fields lose their job availability over time.

ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Oct 26, 2012   #2
Every student in colleges should opt for ahis/her field of study. This is an important decision, because choosing a field of study (do not repeat the term "field of study". You have other options such as "area of expertise", "subject", "major", "discipline", etc. ) plays a significant role in the students' future and determines their future job scope. The author contends that students choose the subjectsfields which provide them witha highergood job opportunitiesyfor finding job in the future. Generally I don't (never use contractions in writing) agree with this statement in what follows the drawbacks of choosing afields of study(repetition) based on job availability(this word has been used in the topic. Use a synonym like "accessibility) are discussed.

I think the thesis statement is not apparent enough and it is a little long. I recommend you to rewrite it.
It would be better to write the reasons why you are not in agreement with the statement through two or three words at the end of the introduction. This is what is called "blueprint". You can google "blueprint in writing/essay" to find loads of information about it.

Hope the comments help
Regards
Ahmad
OP Halehh 2 / 2 1  
Oct 26, 2012   #3
Thanks a lot Ahmad! :)


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