IELTS WRITING TASK 1. Chorleywood is a village near London whose population has increased steadily

Can you give me all your suggestions about this essay and the average score, please.

ESSAY:Chorleywood is a village near London whose population has increased steadily since the middle of the nineteenth century. The map below shows the development of the village.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the development of the village.

From the map we can see a village called Chorleywood and its development between 1868 and 1994. The population of the village has increased steadily since the middle of the 19th century.

First of all, it was a small settlement founded in 1868 near the main road. Then, 15 years later, this small settlement became a small village and moved to the north. A railway was built in 1909 and Chorleywood obtained its railway station called Chorleywood station. After that, 13 years later, the village became larger and moved to the east.

Meanwhile a motorway was constructed in 1970 and the village grew and extended its borders. During the next 24 years Chorleywood has been spreading out around the Chorleywood Park and the Golf course, in their eastern part and along the motorway.

Though, by the year 1994 the population of the village rose and during the period that lasted 126 years the village area increased in about 10 times.

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Maxim, your description about the picture is an example of well-constructed writing. The clear explanation and the smooth transition from one sentence to another is the strength of your essay. I do hope that you will gain some developments in other aspects of writing, for example, the use of punctuation. This is because I found that you have an issue in punctuation in the following sentences:

"From the map, we can see.."
"Meanwhile, a motorway was.."
"During the next 24 years, Chorleywood has .."

In addition, I think these two sentences have an issue of repetition:

"Then, 15 years later ,.."
"After that, 13 years later ,.."

Note that the marked phrases are indicating the future. Thus, it is better to use another expression of indicating times as depicted in one of your sentences: "During the next 24 years.."

Hope this help. Regards.

Hi Maxim, here's another take on your analysis.

- founded in 1868 near the main road.
- obtained( mind the tenses of your words ) its - After that,( this phrase is not necessary ) 13 years later,
- and movedmoving to the east.

- Meanwhile a motorway wasis constructed

- ThoughHowever , by the year
- thethis period that
- lasted 126 years and the village
- area increased into about 10 times.

There you have it Maxim, I hope the corrections help and are useful in your future revision. Also, I would like to remind you to be cautious in using your tenses and the form of the words you associate in your essay as this will greatly affect its overall outcome.