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An essay about Christian Philosophy


tamaraw12345 1 / -  
Jul 6, 2015   #1
I was asked to write a very short essay on how I can relate my school's Christian philosophy to my life as a student. I was wondering if my grammar and style are sufficient for college writing.

"The Christian-inspired pedagogy of ABC University inspires me to put God at the center of my education. This is so because Godliness is the foundation of knowledge. Without revering God, we would most

likely succumb to intellectual effrontery and pride. But when God is
at the center of learning, we are reminded that knowledge should serve
a noble purpose; that is, to inspire and empower everyone to become a catalyst of change. As a communication student, this requires me to use to the gift of speech responsibly. Like the school, my goal is to use

the internet to help improve public awareness on pressing social issues. Particularly, using the social media, I will participate in the growing efforts to promote, above all,

equality and justice."

EF_Carol - / 145 39  
Jul 6, 2015   #2
Well, you are well spoken, but to be an essay, you probably should have at least three paragraphs.

but when God is at the center...

This could be a new paragraph. Your intro is grammatically very good. I think your vocabulary shows classic style.

As a communication student...

This could be the conclusion. You really do make your point! Classical and thoughtful is how I'd describe your essay.

Very eloquent!

ef _carol
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Jul 7, 2015   #3
- " The Christian-inspired pedagogy of ABC University inspires me to put God at the center of my education.

- Without revering God, we would most likelyto succumb to intellectual effrontery and pride.

- As a communication student, this requires me to use to the gift of speech responsibly.

- Like the schoolinstitution , my goal is to us the internet to help improve public awareness on pressing social issues.

- Particularly, using the social media, I will participate in the growing efforts to promote, above all, equality and justice."

I suggest adding this sentences;
Christian Philosophy is not only a belief, it's a way of life that everybody should respect if not practice. Being christian that I am, I would love to keep up and practice the morals of a christian, as they say, "practice what you preach", otherwise behave and mind your own business.


Tamaraw, as this is a short essay, it's very short, I suggest adding a few more sentences.

As I go through it, first I notice was your open quotation that you closed in the end, there's nothing wrong using this punctuation mark, however as it is called, this punctuation mark is use to quote a saying or a belief.

Overall, your essay is good. I say write more and practice.

Keep writing

Cheers!!!


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