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The cities are becoming busier, the traffic jams are more often..


imlost88 2 / 3  
Apr 4, 2017   #1
Traffic congestion is becoming a huge problem for many major cities. Suggest some measure that could be taken to reduce traffic in big cities.

Please give me some comments on my work and the band score I may achieve. Thanks a lot.

review and solution to the traffic problem



Nowadays, it is obvious that traffic jam is a regular occurrence as cities are becoming busier. In my opinion, this global issue can be tackled by improving public transport system and imposing higher tax on cars' price.

Firstly, current public transportation has been failed to address the demands of cities' dwellers. When the city infrastructure was not designed to handle such excessive traffic, a better transport system would discourage people from riding their own vehicles. A complete reform in bus system, like introducing new buses with better services, comfortable seats, punctuality, bus schedule applications and opening new routes that connect outlying areas with the city center, will be a turning point in people prejudices against buses in general and therefore, attract more commuters to use public transportation. In addition, building metro system, that is capable of carrying greater number of passengers, will definitely reduce traffic burden on the roads. For example, the majority of Singaporeans are taking bus and MRT to work instead of driving cars.

Another solution to the traffic problem is to increase car cost. Higher tax on car increases car price makes cars so expensive to acquire that people abandon them for other means of transport. For example, special consumption tax to go into effect in Vietnam has doubled or tripled cars' original value, making Vietnam among the highest prices for automobile globally. As a result, people are more likely to use taxi or Grab car for business or short-distance travel. In other words, cars will decline greatly in number, which allow traffic to move more easily, thus reduce pressure on traffic on narrow streets as well as in the inner city.

To conclude, the measures mentioned above will play key role in alleviating traffic congestion and its aggravating effects on the cities' residents.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,847 2635  
Apr 4, 2017   #2
Hailung, your essay does its best to represent two possible and doable solutions in terms of resolving the traffic congestion in major cities. That is good because the effect of the 2 lines of reasoning pushes your lexical resource and grammar accuracy score up. However, the limited paraphrasing of the given prompt reduces your task accuracy ability. A lengthened opening presentation that accurately represented the outline of your discussion would have helped to increase your TA and GRA scores. While the English grammar used is not smooth or fluent, the English terms that you used showed that you tried to increase your lexical resource with the use of complex words. However, run on sentences still exist in the essay and prevent you from creating a proper and fluid discussion paragraph. You have to learn how to divide your sentences into two during instances when you wish to discuss two connected thoughts in the same sentence. Your concluding paragraph is very ineffective in the sense that it does not properly wrap up the essay discussion through a restated prompt, summary of your offered solutions, and closing sentence. The closing sentence must not provide any new ideas in relation to the original prompt requirement. Your conclusion presented was a shortcut of the expected prompt concluding statement. Being only one sentence long, it doesn't really help to increase your score in any aspect of the 4 scoring criteria. All things considered though, you developed a pretty good discussion of the prompt requirement and could very well score at least a 6 with this practice test.
muathuthattuyet 5 / 7  
Apr 7, 2017   #3
Nowadays, it is obvious that traffic jam is a regular occurrence as cities are becoming more and more populated
has been failed should become has failed
the city infrastructure could be replaced by the urbanite infrastructure
excessive traffic becomes an excessive amount of traffic or heavy traffic
A complete reform in bus system which involves introducing better services such as more comfortable seats, higher level of punctuality, bus schedule applications
Higher tax on cars increases car price, turning them into such luxurious items that people would replace them by other means of transport

in the conclusion, you should make a suggestion or predict a trend in addition to paraphrasing your main point of view.


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