Why are Cities Becoming Overcrowded? - IELTS topic.

Please, Give Your Mark As IELTS score!
In the whole world many cities, especially big ones, are getting more and more overpopulated year by year. As the number of people who are interested in opportunities and comforts in cities is increasing rapidly, these cities are facing a lot of problems. I completely believe that people have reasonable reasons to come and stay in urban areas.

One of the main reasons is economic ones as cities are engines of development. In fact, most of the people from rural places come to live in big cities in order to get a job hoping to create their personnel career. Since a number of work facilities have been building, such as high-tech, clothes and food factories, cities can attract people`s attentions while they are dying for jobs. In addition, there are better conditions and conveniences in the way of cities` life for living, working and etc.

Another factor is that people have an intense desire to reach modern socio-cultural lifestyle in these days. It is obviously true that prestigious universities which can give high-quality education can be found only in cities not in rural places. Therefore, less than half of people who move to urban areas from countryside are, in actual fact, students. However, after students graduate their university they decide to stay there to make a living as well. Moreover, nowadays everyone can grasp the concepts of urbanization and everybody seem huge centripetal force.

In conclusion, even though this problem has a number of causes which can be basis of another problem as people live and their demands change, authorities and individuals can overcome this obstacle if they help each other.

Very good job. If I was an examiner, I may put score 7.5 for your essay.

I know you write well. However, you'd better always try to include the prompt. To give relevant and reliable feedback, we need the prompt which helps us crystallize the ideas from your writing.

Thank you very much!


What do you mean? Sorry, I can`t understand this.
Please, explain more widely!

Thank you very much! Are you really sure that this essay can be scored 7.5!?

Prompt in the sense your opinion about the argument like whether you support the view given in the question or oppose them. Moveover, this has to be written in your introduction itself.

So that you can give an idea to the reader about what you are going to talk.

Hope you will understand this. Thanks.

Thanks for suggestions!


But, this is a cause and effect essay. I think there should not be any agreeing or opposing opinions. Right!?

I am with Arun0506. The prompt used in this exam requires candidates to write 'an argument or case', which puts a point of view.


Yes, you are right. Even this is a cause-and-effect essay, you are asked to express the argument(s), very clearly. And you did. You have presented your points of view. However, to help readers give you the meaningful feedback, readers need the completed prompt to justify your writing by these points:

- Have you provided general factual information?
- Have you outlined a problem and present a solution?
- Have you presented and possibly justify an opinion, assessment or hypothesis?
- Have you presented and possibly evaluate and challenge ideas, evidence, and argument?

To peruse this discussion more closely, please visit: ielts.org/PDF/Vol4_Report2.pdf

Good luck for your exam :)

Thank you very very much! Please, give a score.

So sorry..., I am not the one who can give you a score. However, I just focus on recommending ways how you can improve your writing skills.

Please visit this link ielts.org/PDF/UOBDs_WritingT2.pdf. Scrutinize the document, whole points in the table of IELTS writing descriptor. Then compare with your writing.

In the whole world many cities, especially big ones, are gettingbecomingmore and more overpopulated year by year.

I completely believe that people have reasonablevalid reasons to come and staylive in urban areas.

You have the tendency to use redundant words. Avoid that :)

To sum up, it is the evident that there are several causes of crowded cities, and a variety of negative effects. If the stakeholder economy can provide jobs, schools, and houses in new communities for people from overcrowded cities and run-down industrial areas, there are no social inequalities in wealth distribution for the development of the areas and the way of people life. This needs to be tackled seriously! ( my conclusion)

It is nicer if you could construct this concluding paragraph with this pattern below:
1. a 'conclusion' signal: In conclusion, ....etc,
2. a summary of the main points or a restatement of the thesis (in different words!)
3. a final comment, based on the information in the essay
The final comment can be:
3.1. a warning or prediction (often using the first conditional: If ..., ... will ...)/
3.2. a suggestion or recommendation (often using should or must)

Thank you for your tips!! So, only you don`t like my conclusion, right?

Shag`zod Nima Gap???

Shaxzod Toxirov

Well balanced. Band score is 7.5

Thank you,Shaxzod Toxirov !!

It is not all about likes and dislikes when I come to your writing. But, this is the only thing I can help you. Let other friends go for the details. Overall, I like reading this essay :D

I will write essay as fast as possible