In many cities the constructions of new houses and office building is not controlled

IELTS WRITING TASK 2 on building styles

Question:
In many cities the constructions of new houses and office building is not controlled. This leads to people building in whatever style they want without thinking about design.

Do the advantages of this trend outweigh disadvantages?

Answer:
It is true that the government does lack the construction policy to manage the building activities intensively to erect the brand-new flats and high-end workspaces in the cities at the moment. While I understand that critics may see this as a considerable contribution into the national architectural flourish, I strongly believe that the disadvantages do outweigh the advantages.

There are two main reasons why people might approve of uncontrollably raising new constructions in metropolitans. The first objection is that the massively estate-design syntonisation eliminates the main function of the architectural industry in human life. The industry clearly lasts along with the human's history and contributes largely into general achievements and developments of our species of humanity. The second argument supporting the freedom of constructing distinguished houses in the urban areas is that citizens spend their golden efforts and valuable youth in order to earn money and to possess their own properties. As a result, they are obviously able to build the house based on any personal design in their own desires in the sense of basic human rights.

In spite of the benefits mentioned above, I truly believe that the promulgation and administration of the liberal terms in the construction law to the estate-raising activities in towns is a negative measure. They key point in this issue is that negatively huge impacts of uncontrolled building activities will bring constructions an existence, which are fundamentally not guaranteed in terms of safety and hygienic conditions. For instance, the landlord or the owners of business premises would always prefer to invade the pavement, and it's not only in the land base but it's also in the upper space in order to take advantage of the extra area of land. As a result, people, who stroll on the sidewalk, definitely take risks of accidents due to the collapse of the long and large balcony above. By contrast, due to the baby-boomer era of Vietnam at the moment, massive demand of housing increases rapidly in the recent background of the policies and standards, and the risky flats and houses, which are just pieces of tiny space without any inner fire fighting and prevention system, will surely endanger the lives of local residents as the visible result.

In conclusion, it seems to me that we lose more than we gain from the self-monitored infrastructure that the uncontrolled constructions bring to our cities.

Your prompt restatement includes information that was not presented in the original prompt. As such, your restatement will be deemed inaccurate and offering a personal opinion even though you were not instructed to do so. The restatement must be a clear representation of the original, without any added information or opinions. This could have been better presented as:

The architecture of commercial establishments and homes do not have any clear guidelines to follow. This has resulted in non-uniform design styles. There has been a failure to think about the design concepts. I believe that this has resulted in more disadvantages than advantages. My opinion is based on the the reasons that (1) and (2).

If you can manage to mention your 2 reasons in the discussion outline towards the end of the paraphrase, the clarity of your opinion can be better considered and scored by the examiner. As of now, your paraphrase does not follow the expected response format and contains irrelevant opinions. These will not result in a good TA score for you.

You should mention that there are two reasons for your opinion in the outline, not in the reasoning paragraphs. The reasoning paragraphs should focus only on topic sentences at the start. Avoid using 2 reasons in 1 paragraph. These lead to confusing discussions and under developed paragraph presentations. For these types of essays it would be better for you to use a single paragraph to disprove an advantage as a disadvantage. The format can be:

Sentence 1: Advantage
Sentence 2: Explanation of advantage
Sentence 3: Explain why this is a disadvantage
Sentence 4: Give an example to support your disadvantage opinion
Sentence 5: Add a supporting explanation for your disadvantage based on the advantage opinion

By using 2 paragraphs that utilizes this format, you will not have to waste word count and presentation space. Your discussion will be coherent and cohesive because you focus on a single topic for 2 discussion presentations. Proving that you have the C&C, as well as GRA skills to pull off a combined opinion presentation. You can quite possible get better marks overall when using the combined discussion method.

Never present a personal opinion where it is not required. This essay never asked for your personal opinion so presenting it in the closing paragraph will only help to reduce, rather than increase your overall score. Always follow the discussion requirements as indicated in the prompt. Use the closing paragraph to summarize the discussion, without giving a personal opinion since it is not included as an instruction in the original discussion.

@ Holt Thank you very much for your comment. I really appreciate that.