Most citizens claim that spectacular landmarks are essential for a town

Topic :
Some people think that large, impresive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should spent on improving schools and hospitals. Disscuss both these views an give your own opinion.

Most citizens say that spectacular landmarks are essential for a town. As many city in other countries built great buildings, sometime they take aside money from improving schools and hospitals. They think goverment should use money wisely by improving schools and hospitals.

Public facilities are the most basic needed for a town. It is a great investment for a city to make better future. The goverment cannot left behind this critical problems because we do not know what will happen in the next ten or twenty years later. If we are not ready facing the global issue, the new challenges and disease problems next are more difficult. However, if goverment only focus on the facilities, I think it is not a wise choice too. There is a reseach about happiness citizens which said if the city make good big buildings for public, it will increase inhabitants happiness. Because, some people in urban area, will spend their free time to go to beautiful places and relax their mind before go back to work. Happy mind means healthy body. Not only for neighbourhood, but also tourist from other area will come and incline city's income. City income can also grows up, because if the building is a well-known enough, many investors will easily invest their money to this town. Afterwards, goverment can use more money to build better public facilities.

Overall, schools and hospitals are important as basic tools for a city, but by build a spectacular building, goverment can get more income to improve more public facilities.

Hi Atikah.
These are my corrections for your writing.
Hopefully, those will help you.
As many city CITIES in other
sometimeS they take
They think goverNment should
The goverNment cannot left LEAVE behind this THESE critical problems because
However, if goverNment only focus on the facilities,
There is a reseaRch about happiness
if the city makeS good big buildings
Because, some people in AN urban area.
Happy mind means THE healthy body.
Not only for A neighbourhood, but also tourist from
ANother area will come and incline city's income.
City income can also grows up,
Afterwards, goverNment can use more money to ...
tools for a city, but by buildING a spectacular building, goverNment can get more ...

Apart from the grammar errors, let me comment the content of your writing. Honestly, your writing is quite messy. In the first body paragraph, you mentioned the public buildings directly although the question gave an instruction to explain about the schools and hospital. Be careful, it will cause the explanation out the topic. Discuss both these views a give your own opinion. It is the instruction clearly that you have to explain both topics and show your tendency between the topics. On the other hand, there is nothing that cannot be considered acceptable in the line of the discussion. You stated it in the thesis statement but did not offer the paragraph to explain that in the body paragraph. Your statement would have been the layman's opinion, based upon your knowledge and understanding of the issue. You should offer the scientific fact to support your opinions.

I believe you can show the better progress.
You need to allocate much time to practice more and more.

When you are being asked to answer this type of question, then you need to present not only people's ideas, but also your idea(s) towards introduction. Let me give you an example:

It is true that the government should concern more on the importance of futuristic tall buildings, while the improvement of public service such as schools and hospitals also plays an important role in people's development.This essay agrees with the latter argument because school has a major influence on educational outcome and hospital is the health care system for citizen in one country.

The blue sentences indicate people's ideas extracted from the prompt itself, while the green one shows your opinion corresponding the initiate view. Hope this helps. A heap of luck.