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Citizens have the joy of shopping, regardless of their need or the product function


Keith817 2 / 2  
Nov 26, 2016   #1
Nowadays people buy a lot of unnecessary manufactured products. Is it a positive or negative development? What is the effect of this on the individual and the society?

In the modern century, citizen are enjoying the joy of shopping, regardless of their need or the product function. It is claimed that people are buying excessive goods blindly. The situation has created both positive and negative impact on either individual or the society. This essay will analysis the positive economic outcome followed by the discussion of negative impact on the environmental.

The strong purchase power in the market has certainly helped the growth of the economic. With the demanding need, manufacturing company are encouraged to increase production with introducing new product. In order to meet the demand, company management might decide to expand the production line or hire more worker. Ultimately, the individual could continue having variety of shopping options while the society could be benefit from the lower unemployment rate.

However, the overload unused products may cause some environmental impact, like landfill pollution and river pollution. It is considered that most of the manufactured goods are made of plastic, which is non-biodegradable. Those plastic products would have impact on the surrounding when they treated as rubbish. For instance, a plastic container will stay in the deep soil for decades, which has caused the land pollution. Besides that, manufactured products required a significant amount of natural resource such as petroleum or mineral, to be developed. Hence, mining activity, which is serious environmental pollution activity, are relatively increasing.

In conclusion, the shopping behavior could develop opportunity for the business and increase the economic growth. Nevertheless, it have create challenges for the environment.
Dioba 68 / 104 7  
Nov 27, 2016   #2
Hi,below through my advice for you.Feel free to correct my advice.
1.citizen are ( singular/plural problem) ---> citizen ( singular), are (to be for plural)
2.Ultimately, the individual could continue having variety of shopping options while the society could be benefit from the lower unemployment rate. ---> In my viewpoint , give more explanation how can it affect to the declining of jobless rate?) and give an example to make clear reader view.

3.environmental. ---> environment
4.However, the overload unused products may causesome environmental impact , like landfill pollution and river ---> (singular and plural mistake) pollution.
ifraanisa05 44 / 70 6  
Nov 28, 2016   #3
Hi keith, i will give you some suggestions

- your flow is quite good, but if you put your general statement about positive or negative development and the effect in your introductory paragraph, it will boost your score

- consider to give your personal suggestion in your conclusion paragraph


citizen areis enjoying the joy of shopping

The strong purchasepurchasing power in the market has ...
noun phrase, consider to changing purchase (noun) into adjective

In conclusion, the shopping behaviorbehaviour could develop ...

Nevertheless, it havehascreatecreatedthe challenges ...


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