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The Citizens Obstacle to Change Their Living in A Novel Place in Three Problems


daveandrei 14 / 8 5  
Nov 10, 2015   #1
The bar chart presents the citizens obstacles when they change to live abroad in a novel place and there are problem matters based on their age, such as having friends, obtaining living place, understanding the local tongue.

In young people who are 18 until 34 years old, developing friendships appear as the highest hindrance roughly 46 percent. However, the fewest problem in finding companion is people over 55 years old at 23 percent, while people in 34 to 54 years old get difficult only thirty-six percent.

It is clearly seen that the people over 55 are totally complicated to conceive diverse languange which is in 54%. In contrast, the youngest people are easier to comprehend about learning local language and get the lowest level at 29%.

Nevertheles, different with language-learning problems, the oldest people just got 22 percent for discovering place to live. However, for the others age groups, it has almost the same position in 39 and 40 percent and it means being the second hardest prolem.

Ultimately, the all age people has almost the same problem in some parts, but the oldest group experience understanding language as difficult case which get much largest level than the others.




justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Nov 11, 2015   #2
HI Devi, I'd like to share my insights on your analysis.

- The bar chart re presents the citizens obstacles
- when they changemove to live abroad in
- a novelmore suitable place and there are problem
- matters that are based on their age,
- such as having friends, obtaining living placefacilities and understanding the local tongue.

- InWith the young
- However, the fewest problem in finding companion is on people over
- 55 years old at 23 percent, while people inof 34 to 54 years old get difficulty
- only at thirty-six percent.

- It is clearly seen that the people over
- 55 are totally complicated to conceiveconverge with diverse languangelanguage which is in 54%.
- In contrast, the youngest people are easier to comprehend aboutOn the contrary,young ones are learning the local language andbut they get the lowest level at 29%.

- Nevertheless , different with

- Ultimately, the all age people has almost the same problem in some parts, but the oldest group experience understanding language as difficult case which get much largest level than the others.the older the person becomes, the harder it is to grasp the changes they face in living abroad.

Devi, you tend to write like how you say it in your native tongue, this is direct translation that is very common to people who are not native in speaking English, in order to refrain from doing such, practice English as much as you can, read and write in English, this way you will be able to enhance this abilities.
Arundyna 12 / 16 2  
Nov 11, 2015   #3
The bar chart presents the citizens obstacles when they change to live abroad in a novel place and there are problem matters based on their age, such as having friends, obtaining living place, understanding the local tongue.

you can try to use passive if you don't find synonym

A comparison of inhabitant's problems when they go to novel areas in percentage terms which is divided into 3 aged categories such as having friends, accommodation and language barrier is illustrated in the bar chart.

Overall, you have great writing. Yet, few mistakes could devastating your score. Good job.


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