Hello, I am currently preparing to take the CLEP English Comp with essay exam. Please evaluate the following essay; generally, I feel better about my grammar than I do about the structure of my arguments.
I don't have a clear sense of what the standards are for scoring essays and would greatly appreciate some feedback regarding how well this essay would score, as well as any suggestions for improvement. Thank you in advance.
Prompt: Agree or disagree with the following statement: "there are no challenges so difficult, no goals so impossible, as the ones we set for ourselves."
people set their own goals
I disagree with the statement that "there are no challenges so difficult, no goals so impossible, as the ones we set for ourselves." From my own observations and understanding of people, I have learned that many people use self-made goals to challenge themselves to improve and to accomplish their ambitions, and that these goals are often those that the person believes they can achieve. I set many goals for myself, but I only set goals that I believe I can accomplish. I believe that when setting goals, it is important to require hard work of ourselves and to stretch ourselves to achieve real accomplishments. However, I think it is also true that the repeated setting of unrealistic goals that are repeatedly left unachieved often results in discouragement for the person making the goals.
Throughout history many people, such as Abraham Lincoln, have set challenging goals for themselves and through their hard work, have achieved their ambitions. Achievable goals are not those that require no work, but those that require work that could reasonably be accomplished. People do not tend to set impossible goals, or those they believe are impossible.
In many cases, the most difficult goals to accomplish are actually those set for us by others. Many people are pushed to succeed in different activities, in which they may not be interested or at which they may not excel. When people set their own goals, they are motivated by their own desire to achieve excellence and they are encouraged by their belief that with enough hard work, they can accomplish their dreams.
However, people can be motivated by others who believe in them. Teachers, parents, friends, and relatives can motivate people they know to accomplish by encouraging them to achieve their full potential. Potential for improvement that we do not recognize can be recognized by others. This can benefit someone greatly. However, the person must set themselves to the task and determine to actually achieve something. The life of Dr. Carson illustrates this well. His mother pushed him to achieve more than was being expected of him or than he expected of himself. Eventually he became motivated and he ended up achieving great things that he might not have otherwise achieved.
I have found many of these things to be true in my own experience as well. I would say that there are no goals as motivating as the ones we set for ourselves. When someone really desires to achieve something, they are not easily defeated.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,801 
4780 M, with the highest possible score for this essay being a 6, I would have to say that your work is around a 4. I based my score of your reading on the varied and sometimes confusing method of discussion that you took to approach the prompt requirement. You said that you disagree with the statement and yet, throughout the essay, you make conflicting references to your stance in the paper. Statements such as the following:
However, I think it is also true that the repeated setting of unrealistic goals that are repeatedly left unachieved often results in discouragement for the person making the goals.
reflect that instead of discussing one point of view, as the prompt requires, you have chosen to discuss both points of view instead. A thorough reading of your essay will prove that point. It is in your best interest, meaning you will get a higher score if you stick to the instructions of the prompt. In this case, had you not referred to the other stance for the discussion in your essay, you could very well have scored a 6 in the presentation. Your reasons, where applicable, were actually very strong and offered points that the reader could relate to in a real world level. So, it was just a slight mishap with the discussion format that pulled back your essay score from my point of view.
Thank you bontonsoup1 and Holt,
I especially appreciate the suggestion to sharpen my focus to one side of an agree/ disagree essay. This forum is very helpful for me, and I am eager to continue posting my practice essays this week.
Have a great day!
