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The climate changing - even more crucial than species extinction?


f22542727 1 / -  
Aug 14, 2019   #1

main environmental problem



I think that we are faced a lot of environmental problems in this generation. One of these troubles is lossing of specific species of plants and animals. But in my own view,it isn't the vital problem.The more important and main problem is climate changing.

There are some people think that the main environmental problem is particular species of plants and animals decreasing.I have to admit it is actually a environmental problem and I think out some reason why these special plants and animals are important for us. If we loss these species like rainforest,we will increasing lack of oxygen which provides us to live.

Some convince that there are more important environmental troubles than the last segment. They may figure out that climate changing is the most major problem in this generation.

In my opinion,I also think that climate changing is more significant than the lossing species of plants and animals. If the temperature continuously increase that will cause sea level raising and we will loss the live space which is covered by sea. We should take some measures about this upcoming problem or we will extinct. Some expert said that we can turn off the light when we are not using,take more transport than drive our own car and reduce our smoking behavior that can decrease carbon dioxide emissions. If everyone can do the there things,we can save more time to professionals who may seek out solutions to solve climate changing.

Grahyta24 6 / 12 2  
Aug 14, 2019   #2
... actually an environmental problem...

... we will Increase lack of oxygen ...

There are some grammatical mistakes, it's okay, you just need more careful about it :)
Maria [Contributor] - / 1,047 372  
Aug 15, 2019   #3
@f22542727
Hi! Welcome to the forum. I hope you find this feedback helpful for your writing endeavors. Keep coming back to us if you wish to!

I firstly recommend revising the first sentence due to its lack of precision in text. It's noticeable how this portion appears to be quite forced to be there. I would suggest to create a firmer and stronger opening line through not using an opinion to open up your text. Rather, use a more distinctive written work that'll represent your thesis statement with a bit more creativeness than usual.

From the second paragraph onwards, it's quite noticeable how your essay turned quite sour with the lack of proper punctuation and transitions. Because of this, your writing became a lot more informal. Try to avoid these situations at all times.
KAURNAVI 4 / 5 1  
Aug 16, 2019   #4
With the advent of technology, environmental problems affecting the earth inadequately. One of these troubles is the loss of ...
But in my own view, ...
The more critical and foremost issue is climate changing.

There are Some people ... is a particular species...
I have to admit it is an ecological problem ... why these unique plants and animals are essential for us. If we lose these species like a rainforest, we will increase the lack of ...

... there are more critical environmental ...
They may figure out that climate-changing is the most significant problem in this generation.

... that climate-changing ... than the losing ...
...continuously increases ... level rising, and we will lose ... by the sea.
... about this future problem, or we will be extinct.
... that we could turn off ...
If everyone can do their things...


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