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Clint Smith, a poet and teacher spoke about the danger of silence on the TED channel


PHA2016 39 / 62 4  
Sep 28, 2016   #1
The danger of silence by Clint Smith

Clint Smith, a poet and teacher spoke up about the danger of silence on the TED channel. He begun speech with quoted of Marten Luther King Jr story who reflected African movement in America. Smith talked that silence is residue fear entire in his life and African people as well, for example, discrimination, violence and war. At the beginning he live in suffered, no soda, no food, no home, as the result he give up. However he realized that every man want to be as human, have right to live which every people are needed life good, freedom and equal. A short, he stand front of the audience is speaking up against discrimination and injustice.

Source: TED

Fitri12 28 / 53 6  
Sep 28, 2016   #2
Hi Pha, the followings are my thoughts regarding your writing.

... spoke up about (you may also use 'regarding) the danger of silence ...

He begun (his) speech (by presenting a meaningful quote by Marten Luther King Jr) who reflected African movement in America.

Smith talked (said/stated/explained/described) that silence is.....

At the beginning (of his life) he....

Thank you.
RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Sep 28, 2016   #3
Clint Smith, a poet and teacher [need comma. additional information related to someone or something written in between commas is what we called 'appositive'] spoke up about the danger of silence on the TED channel.

He begun HIS speech with quotedA QUOTE of Marten Luther King Jr story whoWHICH reflected African movement in America.

Smith talked that silence is residue fear entire in his life and African people as well, for example, discrimination, violence and war.confusing sentence. you may want to write:

SMITH TALKED THAT SILENCE LEFT FEARS ON HIS ENTIRE LIFE JUST LIKE OTHER AFRICAN PEOPLE COMMONLY FELT. IT IS DUE TO DISCRIMINATION, VIOLENCE, AND WAR.

At the beginning [need comma] he liveD in suffered, (...), as the result [need comma] he givegave up.

However [comma] he realized that every man want to belive as normal human, have right to live which every people are needed life goodof decent life , freedom and equalITY.At short, hestandS in front of the audience is speakingto speak up against discrimination and injustice.

severe issues on punctuation. need to concern more on word form chosen and sentence completion. try to compose sentences that will easily understand for its informative value. besides, try to write longer summary so you will write more while others will give more feedback. good luck


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