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TOEFL;close friends vs casual friends


rosh 3 / 6  
Sep 21, 2010   #1
Hi everybody,
I'm new to the forum.
Please help me to have a feedback on my essay which I did in 30 mins as to prepare for the TOEFL in two weeks.

QUESTION; It is better to have one or two close friends that to have a large number of casual acquaintances.

I strongly believe that it is better to have a few close friends than to have many casual acquaintances. I wish to reinforce my belief with the following reasons;

First and foremost, the close friends would stand by you when you are in trouble. For example, there is a saying, "A friend in need is a friend indeed". It emphasizes the meaning of a friendship; a friend is a person who would be with you in thick and thin. This is why casual acquaintances do not fit in with the definition of "friends". They are just people with whom you nod and say hi and bye. They would not develop strong mutual bonds with you that last life long. They would not stand by you when you are in trouble. Lord Buddha once preached that it is worthy to have one good friend who would not let you down when you need his/her help rather than having thousands of friends who would leave you when you are in trouble.

A close friend would always look forward to seeing your success. He or she would not hesitate to correct you when you try to fall into the wrong track because his/her purpose is to see you succeeding in life. For example, when I was in the second year in the university, I wanted to quit the university for a Job since I had some serious financial constraints. However it was my best friend who discouraged me and convinced me that this decision would hinder many future opportunities for me. He helped me a lot in my financial difficulties as well. Had it not been his advice and support, I would have not achieved most of my goal which I have accomplished today. Had he been just a casual friend, he would have not been so interested about my decision and kept quiet. Therefore it is your few good friends who would guide you through towards your success, not your casual friends.

Finally, you can trust your close friends since you know who they are. It is dangerous to trust people whom you do not know well. In casual acquaintances you do not know the real character of your casual friends because you have not made much effort to know them well. Therefore, it is dangerous for you to trust them and confide your personal things in them as they may some times betray you for their own interests.

These reasons have made me believe that close friendships are an asset for one's personal life. Therefore I conclude that it is better to have a few close friends rather than having many casual acquaintances.

shofa_nefertete 12 / 35  
Sep 22, 2010   #2
Establish first the scenario before giving your side to give the readers a chance to ponder on the issue.
vaishali1980 26 / 83  
Sep 23, 2010   #3
Your essay is very good and well arranged. Only need to add brief point discussed from your essay in conclusion.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Sep 25, 2010   #4
I think I may have told you this already, but if you write this well you will have no trouble on the toefl. Move on to higher levels of writing; check out Strunk and White. (google it)

:-)

Small improvements can be made here:

In With regard to casual acquaintances, you do not know the real character of your casual friends because you have not made much effort to know them well.

Here is my Advanced English lesson for you. Use "With regard to," a very useful phrase.

With regard to friends, it is important to try to have friends that are intelligent enough to be helpful.
With regard to essays, it is important to have a thesis statement in the first paragraph.


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