Irfan, the first thing that I noticed upon reading your essay is that you forgot to discuss your point of view within the body of the essay. Sure you mention it in the introduction. That is not enough, you need to expand upon your discussion within the essay. Remember the following format when discussing an essay:
1. Introduction
2. Opposing side
3. Supporting side
4. Personal opinion
5. Conclusion.
5 paragraphs in total. You currently only have 4. Review the essay and you will see that your voice is missing in the discussion.
Now, to address the grammar issues. I'll be showing you the correct way of expressing your thoughts per paragraph. Please refer to the suggestions when you revise your essay.
Clothes are the essential thing than attributed to the body. Several people think that garments can reflect who they are, yet others have an opposite statement which they cannot appraise citizen just from the clothing what they dress on. I firmly believe that clothes have role sector in the individual's life although there is a difference argument about this issue.
Clothes are an essential accessory for the human body. People believe that these garments can reflect who a person is. While others believe the opposite. Their belief is that people cannot be judged based upon their clothing. My opinion, is that clothes play a role in an individuals life separate from the two arguments presented.
These days, clothes are not only become covered body from the heats of sun rays or the coldness of the night. In this era, half of citizens reckon with becoming stylish or fashionable is important for them. For instance, celebrities always have up to date lifestyle on their performance which is followed by fans. Furthermore, the fans try to imitate what popular idol wears like their clothes, skirt, hat or even accessories. Evidence of this can be seen that clothing gives a huge impact to socialize.
Clothes do not just protect the body from the harmful rays of the sun or coldness of the night. People these days consider fashion / clothes are an important part of who they are. Celebrities for one always dress well and wear the current fashion wherever they go. In return, their fans, who follow their fashion trends, imitate the celebrity style of dressing, thus ensuring that fashion becomes an integral part of society.
However, there are some people argue that do not need to put impressive clothes on. Main point, it can make them comfortable when they do their jobs or activities. For example, in the work concerning, a farmer always wears casual apparel which this is very different with an employee, he or she always take clothing neatly. Indirectly, this show that clothes can describe who they are based on what they gain on.
Yet there are some who do not believe that people need to wear impressive clothes. Rather, they believe that people should dress for comfort based upon the requirements of their job or activity. Farmers need to wear light clothes that absorb sweat while those who work in offices wear suit and always look neatly dressed. These two contrasting dress types show that people can actually tell a lot about people based upon the clothes they wear.
(At this point you should be inserting your personal point of view. You could revise the above paragraph to say "My opinion is that people do not need to wear impressive clothes. Instead they should wear...")
In conclusion, it is evident that although several inhabitants think they cannot judge people from the cover, but they can distinguish the workers by the uniform what they obtain on their body and it is imperative that the apparels have variety functions in the socialize.
In conclusion, while there are some who may wish to judge people by what they wear, the reality is that nobody can distinguish the character of a person simply by the clothes they wear. (Add some information about your personal opinion to wrap up the essay).
