IELTS Task 2 coeducational VS single

Task:
Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both views.

These days, schools play an important role in our society as children spend a lot of time there. So, this fact that how schools are managed has a direct effect on the quality of student's education. The case in point is whether co-educational system could give us more benefit than single sex schools. In this piece of writing, I would like to express my personal views regarding the comparison of these two educational systems.

As single sex schools used to be in many countries from many years ago, some people think that they are the best schools for children. They believe that students have more concentration on their studies in single sex schools. Therefore, better results could be achieved in these schools when we compare them with co educational schools. Moreover, people are less worried about the relationships between girls and boys. As reported in Today newspaper in 1 July 2011, students who studied in co educational schools usually had many problems with the opposite sex.

On the other hand, base on scientific researches, students who study in mixed schools often could be more reliable and have a better communication with variety type of people in society. Because scientists believe that attending in schools should provide not only pure scientific educations but also social developments for pupils. Besides, new evidences show mental problems which is related to co educational system could happen in single sex schools too.

Personally I think that co educational schools could benefit our society in many ways and although there are a few problems in these schools, their pros far outweigh the cons of them.

"Thanks for your help in advance"

The words "thus", "therefore", and the like, are more appropriate than "So"



WHY? Why do they think students can concentrate on their studies in these schools? Explain it and make it clear for the reader.


What kind of problem? It is not apparent. u can make is more clear by using "such as".



Never start a sentence with "BECAUSE". In Farsi it is OK, but in English it is WRONG.


"Attending" is used with no preposition


"Evidence" is an uncountable noun and u cannot use it in plural form.


This conclusion should be improved. At the beginning of the conclusion reword the thesis statement to remind the reader that u was discussing what issues in the body. Then write your opinion. Finally write and ending statement called clincher.

Regards
Ahmad

Thank you for the reply.

You've understood English language very well.