In an Essay of 650 words or more, discuss three decisions you have made that truly identify who you are and how you are misunderstood. Use Descriptive language. This should be a semi-formal essay: do not use contractions, but you may use first-person pronouns.
PERSONAL IDENTITY
-Needing eyes to proofread my paper and tell me your opinion! I've wrote the main majority, just haven't been able to complete my conclusion yet! Thanks to any feedback, it is greatly appreciated!!
The content requirements for this particular assignment are quite ironic. Ironic, in that, I was misunderstood even before I was born. My mother always says, "Life offers one, many roads in which to travel; some smooth, some rough, some winding, and some tough."
The only person who really understood the need for my presence in this world was my mother. Due to many medical problems as a child my mother, would again, be faced with open heart surgery. Only this time it was not just her life in jeopardy, she was about to give birth to her one and only child. A son, Stephen Ray Barkus. In addition to emergency open heart, my mother simultaneously underwent Cesarian section in order to give birth to me.
Afterward, while my mother began her recovery in cardiac intensive care; I would face challenges of my own in the neonatal unit. My mother says, " I baffled them all. I was not supposed to be there, I was not supposed to survive."
During her pregnancy she had been faced with many scares regarding both her health and the health of her unborn child. On a number of occasions, doctors and specialist even tried convincing her to aboard the birth. Even with the fear of cardiac arrest looming, my mother would not hear of destroying her child. She believed God had given her this opportunity, a chance to have a child after she had been told so many times that for her, motherhood just was not in the cards. Although she was never to have natural children, she and I fought all the odds and won. It was because of her inner strength and the grace of God; that I am alive today; and I am my mother's son; misunderstood by many but understood by one.
Growing up throughout my childhood was pretty simple, with no major issues to face. Typical good grades, best buddies and friends to hangout with, and two parents who were always there to support me regardless. As I entered my teenage years, my relationship with my parents began to have its ups and downs. They say that is pretty normal for most families. Mainly, I struggled keeping my relationship solid with my father. He has owned his own business since just after I was born and honestly I have never known a man work as hard as my father did and still does today. Throughout my life, for the most part, I was able to have anything I wanted. If not just because, then at Christmas or my next birthday. I certainly never missed out on anything I needed. My parents never really talked to me about their finances, I just always thought we were kind of rich, wealthy, or whatever. I certainly had more than most all my buddies, it just never dawned on me how that was possible.
Although, the one most important thing I did not have was an understanding. An understanding that in all reality my parents came from nothing financially. They had built and worked very hard for absolutely everything we had. As an adult, I now realize how hard my parents worked to give me all that they did and when I was younger I just thought it was there. I suppose, I thought money grew on trees.
Realizing this has changed the way I look at life and success today. I have completely changed my game plan and believe I am now on the right road. My goal is to continue along this road until I have climbed all the hurdles and completed all its tasks. I will someday very soon make a difference in someone else life, as my parents both made a difference in mine.
Now I seek to graduate with my associates degree from Butler Community College. My next endeavor will be to attempt to attend a four year university where I will be able to obtain my pharmacy degree. I anticipate to succeed in obtaining my Pharm. D. (Doctor of Pharmacy) allowing me to make a successful and at the same time a respectful living. They say it is completely normal for a college student to change their major several times upon actually determining the special field they want to explore. It would be to my surprisal to alter my field of study to something a little less demanding, possibly a bachelors in nuclear medicine sounds inviting. I realize that when I do make up my mind, and accomplish my goal, that it will be one of the most gratifying and happiest days of my life.
Everyone's personal identity should be changing everyday, every moment
by the building up of their intelligence and experiences....
The content requirements for this particular assignment are quite ironic -- ironic in that I was misunderstood even before I was born. ---I needed to put these 2 sentences together or the second one would have been incomplete.
My mother always says, "Life offers one (remove comma) many roads in which to travel; some smooth, some rough, some winding, and some tough."
and I am my mother's son; misunderstood by many but understood by one.----very cool
Trim the excess:
Growing up throughout m My childhood was pretty simple -- , with no major issues to face. T typical good grades, best buddies and friends to hangout with, and two parents who were always ...
Hyphen:
My next endeavor will be to attempt to attend a four-year university where I will be able to obtain my pharmacy degree.
In order to edit, cut content, and finish the conclusion, you need to ask yourself what is most important. What is the most important experience for you to create in the mind of the reader? Cut out all that does not help enforce that experience.
What is your favorite part of the essay? That is where the inspiration is. Focus on that, and finish the essay! I think you have a great writing style, but you may include distracting details that do not help you achieve your main goal.
:-)
