Dear my friends in essayforum, Could you please check my writing. I do appreciate your help[/b]
In today's fierce competition, the labor market has become more challenging for recent college graduates. Some people believe that, the rising of college grad unemployment due to lack of employment opportunities. Companies as jobs providers do not need to recruit more workers due to the advance of technology. They believe that, robots, automation, and software can replace people in finishing the job. Moreover, the improving of industrial robotics to automated services is behind the sluggish employment growth of the last 10 to 15 years. This rapid technological change is believed will decrease job opportunity. For example in manufacturing field, robots play important role in installing parts of product. Moreover, robots have ability to solve some jobs in which people have limitations in doing it. Robot does not need a rest during 24 hour working process. In addition, according company perspective, hiring robot means reducing cost such as wage, insurance and health cost. The conditions make companies reducing job opportunity which affect the increasing of college grads unemployment.
Beside that condition, student's mindset about getting job after finishing the study also become the reason of the difficulty in finding jobs. Almost college grads think about how to get good jobs soon as graduate from university. This condition makes tight competition in getting job, because the more college grads the more competitor that should be faced to fill job vacancy. Students must change their mindset from being employee becoming an employer. It means they should think about how to be good entrepreneur, so that they can make more jobs for another bachelor.
On the other hand, university as producer in creating bachelors does not equip students with entrepreneurial skill. University tends to overemphasize about theoretical lesson. Due to the condition, students become too busy in pursuing achievement and forget to prepare other skills. In addition, university should support the students by giving communication and interpersonal skills that will be useful for getting their future jobs. For instance, a survey by the Workforce Solutions Group at St. Louis Community College found that more than 60 percent of employers said applicants lack "communication and interpersonal skills". Many managers also said that today's applicants can't think critically and creatively, solve problems or write well. Furthermore, Polity does not pay attention about job opportunity in its country, so employment and workforce are out of balance. Actually by creating good labor policy, government can prevent the high unemployment condition on its nation. The state can force companies residing in its territory, to provide more job opportunity in order to accommodate the rising college grads.
In conclusion, college graduate unemployment is a serious problem, therefore good cooperation among Industry, Universities and Government are expected to be able to overcome it.
Is this paragraph above your introduction?
an ideal introduction consists of ; Hook(here you have to write a sentence to catch reader attention), Background(paraphrase of the question), and Thesis statement.
write the complete prompt to make easy when others review your essay. good luck bagus.
In today's fierce competition, the labor market has become more challenging for recent college graduates. Some people believe that, the rising of college gradlevel of unemployment due to lack of employment opportunities. Companies asjobsproviders do not need to recruit more workers due to the advance of technology.
Well... what is the purpose of writing this essay ? Is this for a college application? Or for IELTS? TOEFL?
It is important for us to know why you wrote this essay in order to provide you with more meaningful answers.
to: DUMI (Moderator)
actually, I'm considering to take IBT TOEFL in the end of this year.
however, I'm not confidence in facing writing section.
could you give me some suggestion
thank you. I do appreciate your help
regards
Bagus Prabowo Aji
