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Columbia and Yamhill - population in the state of Oregon by Country - IELTS writing


tikyu 1 / -  
Mar 15, 2015   #1
Please need your feedback about my writing
Thank you

The line graph illustrates the change of population in various countries in the U.S. State of Oregon between 1940 and 2000 and is measured in thousands. Overall, it is immediately apparent that Washington was the most country in term of population since 1940 until 2000.

In 1940, Columbia and Yamhill were at fairly similar population of 30,000 and 28,000 people. Meanwhile, Washington stood at 75,000 and made this country to become the top between those three countries. 1940-1970 experienced almost 50% increase of Washington population. There were minimal rise of population in Columbia and Yamhill from 1940 to 1970, in 1970 the population was 32,000 and 45,000 respectively.

The number of people in Washington increased dramatically from 1970 to 2000 with total of people more than 240,000 in 2000. Washington had a significant higher population than the other two counties. 1970-2000 saw a rise of Yamhill population to 75,000. Columbia's population was the smallest compared to the other two counties, reaching 60,000 in 2000.



Anfalia 40 / 56 23  
Mar 17, 2015   #2
The line graph illustrates the change of population in variousseveral countries in the U.S. State of Oregon between 1940 and 2000 and is measured in thousands. Overall, it is immediately apparent that the biggest population witnessed in Washingtonwas the most country in term of population since 1940 until 2000.

In 1940, Columbia and Yamhill were at fairly similar population ofby 30,000 and 28,000 people respectively. Meanwhile, Washington stood at 75,000 and this made this country to becoame the top between thoseamong three other countries.

Good Luck!!
lynzee22 - / 90 37  
Mar 17, 2015   #3
Overall, it is immediately apparent that Washington was the most country in term of population sincehad the highest population from 1940 untilto 2000.

In 1940, Columbia and Yamhill were athad a fairly similar population of 30,000 and 28,000 people . Meanwhile, Washington stood at 75,000 andmade this country to become the top between those three countries., making this county the mosat populated in the state of Oregon.

Be careful with countRy and county. Washington is not a countRy. In this case, it is a county in the state of Oregon. Make sure you specify that because Washington is also a state.

Also, be careful with wordiness. Some of your sentences have too many words or awkward word order.
Other than that it was well written.
Hope this helped.


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