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ESSAY- Comment on freedom on choice of clothing in schools - FEEDBACK


prince303 5 / 10  
May 20, 2010   #1
School is the place, which lays foundation for the development of students, whether its for their academic progress or their overall personality. School teaches them right manners and discipline. Wearing same uniform is an integral part of school to maintain these ethics. For this reason, I strongly believe that students should wear uniform at school. My opinion is based on several reasons. But, there are two conspicuous ones which i want to elaborate in this essay.

One of the significant reasons to support the argument is equality among students. Students come from different backgrounds and races. Wearing same clothes eliminates the differences between rich and poor or black and white. They can communicate more effectively and gel easily while wearing same clothes. On the other hand , if they wear clothes of their own choice, than differences may widen between students because some rich students might show off and others could get depressed.

Another important reason is indiscipline which may arise from casual clothes at school. Giving them freedom to wear means some students may wear too fashionable, skimpy or revealing clothes, which may attract the attention of fellow students. As a result, it could hamper their academic progress severely. Undiscerning children will spend their precious time, thinking of what to show each day at school rather than focusing on other school activities.

In conclusion, compulsory uniform at school completes the school life and makes it a happier place for all students.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
May 21, 2010   #2
No comma necessary here:
School is the place which lays foundation ...

progress or their overall personalities .

My opinion is based on several reasons, but there are two conspicuous ones which I want to elaborate in this essay.

Lengthen the conclusion by discussing the implications of these 2 points you have made and by talking about precisely what should be done. Make that last para at least 3-5 sentences long.

:-)


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