Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

IELTS 2: Common Problems if both parents are working


sush2 4 / 11 1  
May 4, 2014   #1
Topic: what problems do you see when both parents work? How does this affect children and family life??

In today's money driven world, we can see quite often that both parents work in a family.The reasons for this situation could be differ from family to family.It might be because of their financial constraints which force them to work or it could be their personal choice to work.

However, the decision to work by both the parents is associated with advantages and disadvantages too.To begin with concerns, this decision certainly bothers their children, especially when they have no body else to take care of them.For instance,my cousin had to sit alone for hours after her comeback from school,because of her parents were out on their job.This lead her to become a reserved and shy person.By this we can say that if atleast one parent is not available at home to take care of their kids,it creates negative impact on their child's behaviour.

Moreover, if both husband and wife are working they leave no room for their personal enjoyment for the reason that they have to work on weekdays and take care of household things like shopping, cleaning and washing on weekends.For example, my parents were both employed and I hardly gone with them for any holiday and picnic.In effect, it created a unfilled gap among us gradually.So,employed couple has no choice but to sacrifice their happy moments with their family and friends.However this situation poses a threat to their healthy relationship with others on whole.

In other hand, there are benefits if both parents have jobs. They can earn huge money and can provide all the facilities to their children in all aspects. To cite an example, my friend, whose parents are both employees, used to wear costly dresses and come to school in a luxury car, though not driven by her parents. This created a kind of special status to her for being rich among other students.

To summarize,there are pros&cons if both parents are employed in a family.Although,the children of employed parents may get benefits of having rich life,they must be certainly deprived of their parents love and care. By this, I personally feel that parents should have to think well before taking any decision in this regard than being regretted later in life.

zztrieuman 3 / 4 1  
May 4, 2014   #2
In today's money driven world

I cannot understand this phrase. I think you should be a more understandable phrase in your essay.

could be differ from

be different from. BE+adj, not BE+verb
fikri 5 / 317 71  
May 4, 2014   #3
However , the decision to work by both the parents is associated with advantages and disadvantages too.

what does it refer to? I think, here you should put a word/phrase which has a function to start the discussion
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
May 6, 2014   #4
The reasons for this situation could be differ from family to family.
Moreover, ifwhen both husband and wife are working they leave novery limited room for their personal enjoyment for the reason that they have to work on weekdaysdue to their work commitments and take care of household things like shopping, cleaning and washing on weekends.household responsibilities.

In other hand, there are benefits if both parents have jobs.

Well, your prompt is not really asking this... it is asking you only about the problems -

what problems do you see when both parents work? How does this affect children and family life??

... stay aligned with the prompt!


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS 2: Common Problems if both parents are working