A common tendency of self-employment among those who are eager to establish their own companies

IELTS Academic writing task 2:

People choose to be self-employed

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization.
Why might this be the case?
What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In recent years, there is a common tendency of self-employment among those who are eager to establish their own companies. This essay will first analyze some major reasons and then point out distinct drawbacks of this growing trend.

To begin, it is understandable why certain people refuse to work for a specific employer due to various notable benefits. First and foremost, a self-employed person tends to be obviously much more proactive in either work or financial management, such as salary to which potentially higher income can be attributed. Secondly, no longer being under pressure of loads of deadlines and extra working hours eventually bring these individuals a sense of comfort and better prospects of developing their ideas for upcoming projects. Accordingly, those aspects will somehow correspond directly to their efficiency at work.

Despite such optimal consequences of being self-employed, there are several inevitably negative effects, one of which is low long-lasting success rates. To illustrate, getting engaged in occupations, such as freelancers or lawyers, requires them to be not only highly experienced but also well-qualified to manage to tackle unpredictable issues; otherwise, they are vulnerable to failure. Additionally, working independently also leads to an increasing amount of work to be done, in contrast with working in a group of people where there usually tends to be work-sharing and mutual cooperation among the colleagues.

In conclusion, admittedly being self-employed might help boost distinctively individual development, but in order to have optimal long-lasting consequences, certain potential obstacles need to be solved carefully.

The prompt restatement was almost impressive. The presentation perfectly combined The prompt topic and reasoning response in a creative and relevant manner. All that was missing was the disadvantage response topic. The inclusion of that response would have created a highly relevant task response at a maximum scoring consideration. The writer should include all direct response topics next time.

The reasoning paragraphs are relevant and portray simple, connected reasons from one topic to the next in the paragraph. The writer has done a good job in securing a highly rated C + C score. The problem, now lies in the conclusion.

The conclusion forgot to restate the original topic first. It went to a direct summary of the question responses instead. So the reverse paraphrase has a lower TA accuracy when compared to the ffirst presentation.

Thank you so much for your advice.

"consequence" means a result of a particular action or situation, often one that is bad or not convenient so you shouldn't use it to refer to the benefits of self-employment.