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Should the community service in the high school be built by a volunteer or compulsory system

al50332 3 / 3  
Nov 15, 2017   #1
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children).

To what extent do you agree or not agree?

Should high school students be forced to volunteer?

There are two viewpoints about that the community service in the high school should be built by a volunteer or compulsory system. In this essay I will discuss why I am taking the side of doing it compulsorily base on the experience on my own.

Throw back to the time when I was a student, my dad want me to go to the private school although the expenditures is not affordable. They have a plurality of extra curriculum, which you can choose to join it such as basketball, baseball classes and so on. Most of them are general, but there is one special and really catch my eyes is Goodwill Ambassador, the purpose of this social club is "helping", which they and be the representative to do many things including working for charity, improving the environment of the neighborhood or helping the functional families. So I joined it because of curious.

When it comes to the weekend I will take the bus to go school because that we did have a multiple type of contributions to do and aimed the different target group. Sometimes we will go to the functional family, or raising fund on the street side. Which impressed me the most is when I went to the lonely elderlies house, the eye when they see us to be accompany with them are so desirable after the talking with them a whole afternoon they are delighted as well. Sometimes we will take a bath for them or feed them if they are incapable.

This kind of activity really helps me to complete my personality with hospitalist and kindness. Therefore, I can put myself to others shoes easier and even more understandable as well. I spend my own time without payment to do the things benefit this society feels good and makes me become a better person from helping others with no return. I strongly recommend that all the high school can design this kind of program for their students to be a better person and bring the society to a better future together.

summerlin 5 / 12 2  
Nov 15, 2017   #2
Hi Kuan Ning

you should paraphrase the question prompt and make your position clearly on what degree do you agree with in your introduction.
To make your position such as " I completely agreee/disagree" or "I am moderate agree/disagree".
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,301 3344  
Nov 15, 2017   #3
@al50332 It is too bad that you fumbled the opening paraphrase and your essay is lacking a concluding statement. The body that you developed, which is based on your personal experience is one that would have helped increase the score of your essay, even with the problematic grammar. Examiners tend to score on the higher end when a test taker uses a personal experience for the body of paragraphs because, if it is really related to the prompt demands, as yours is, then this proves that you have a high ability to understand English instructions and also, you have the ability to present a proper defense of a related discussion based on the topic provided. Your whole essay would have gotten an average passing score if you had presented the opening statement as follows:

There are people who believe that high school students must be part of mandatory volunteer programs. Some of the activities that they recommend are volunteer work at charities, neighborhood improvement, or mentoring to younger children. I am in complete agreement with this line of thinking based on my own personal experience with the said program.

When I was a high school student...

The above presentation would have tied in directly with your discussion paragraphs and hinted at a high level of English comprehension skills. The concluding statement should have reiterated the prompt, your main reason for approving of it, and then a sentence that repeats your approval of the reasoning.
naseernasrati 14 / 33 10  
Nov 15, 2017   #4
i have a suggestion about the whole style of writing an agree/disagree essay
follow the (predicted) essay respond as follow
in predicted style you should write five paragraphs
first paragraph is introduction and structured as follow
introduction paragraph contains a general statement related to the question respond, then transition and then your opinion
in your introduction paragraph try to point out or predict about three major points of view to support your answers in body paragraphs.
in the next step write three body paragraph as follow.
in the first of body paragraph write a topic statement and then transition and then your reasons and examples
the last sentence of each body paragraph should be a cause-affect sentence.
and finally write the last paragraph as the conclusion by concluding your respond in the best way and with paraphrasing aforementioned issues.
good luck.

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