The purpose of businesses is to make money and they should concentrate only on this. Do you agree or disagree?
These days, development of business experience changes fast. Some corporation became more concentration and innovative in creating many fascinating products. Some people say that business activity only aim to earn money. I totally disagree with this statement. There are many companies that survive not only for financial purpose, but also to do useful activity that relates to humanity duty.
Business activity has highly profitable and it has pleasure prospect to earn a lot of money, so business must be concentrated properly. For example, a business retail which has a benefit in produce the income. A company that supply many goods that have high qualities, so it can attract consumers. It is mean the big income will be easy to reach. The owners have to concern in internal aspect of their own company, such as manage and maintenance sales. If they not improve the managerial and maintenance they will lose many buyers. It is mean they will lose much money. So, concentrate in internal factor is important, especially to get big income.
On the other hand, there are many corporate that not only aim to get money, but also to act a social usefulness. For example, Lifebuoy, it is a hygiene products company that has purpose not only for financial, but also to promote healthy lifestyle to the people. Besides, they do improving in their products, they also make campaign when were happened disaster, such as flood, and earthquake. They donate their product to prevent diseases that related to a disaster. Then, they give food aid, and housing equipment freely for the victims. So, that ways they can help other people and the company can survive existence.
In conclusion, business is one of ways to ear money, so we have to give much concern into it, but I believe that there are other factors that we have to take more concentrate such as, humanity duty to help people, so we can get big income and can solve people's problem.
HELLO MISS BADA :)
HERE ARE FEW CORRECTIONS FOR YOU :)
... business activity only aim => AIMS to earn money.
... for financial purpose, (UNNECCESARY COMMA) but also to do ...
A company that supply=>SUPLLIES many goods that ...
If they not improve => DO NOT IMPROVE the managerial and ...
... not only for financial, (UNNECESSARY COMMA) but also to promote ...
Besides, they do improving=>IMPROVE in their products, ...
disaster=>DISASTERS , such as flood, and earthquake.
... to give much concern into=> TO it, but I believe that ...
KEEP WRITING AND GOOD LUCK :)
Hi bada! here are my suggestions
Some corporation became more concentrationconcentrated and innovative in ...
comparative words: more + adj. construction is a noun. you have to change it into adjective so that it can be equal with innovative which is an adjective
... business activity only aimaims to earn money.
... not only for financial purpose, but also to do ...
comma is unnecessary in this compound sentence
Business activity has highly profitablea high profit and it has .....
better if you change it into nounphrase
so business must be concentratedconcentrateproperly.
maybe you still confused about the 'concentrate form' i suggest you, open cambridge dictionary to look out that full explanation
A company that supply many goods thatwhich have high ...
If they do not improve the managerial ...
GOODLUCK
