grade my essay [GRE issue task]
All too often, companies hire outside consultants to suggest ways for the company to operate more efficiently. If companies were to spend more time listening to their own employees, such consultants would be unnecessary.
Response:
I completely agree with strategy of companies to hire outside consultants for the company to operate more efficiently.I come to this conclusion based on the following reasoning which are detailed in the subsequent paragraphs.
The companies can have access to large number of people with varied talents if they were to hire consultants. This is because there will be multiple companies which handles the consultant business model in almost all domains. These consulting firms are specifically built to have talents that are well versed in their own domains.Moreover the competition between multiple other companies which operate in the similar domain causes the companies to become more creative so as to increase their business. For example lets take semiconductor industry. There are hundreds of chipmakers in the world. All of them use almost similar software tools for their Research and Development. If they were to develop their own tools its a waste of time because there is a time spent on development and also resource wasted. Instead the chip makers can hire external software vendors and have one or two consultants who can support everyone who uses the software tool in the chip making company. If chip maker wants some other tool they can have an expert in that domain. Thus the possibilities are endless. The talent pool of consultants in virtually vast. This can make the companies to excel at what they are doing instead of wasting time on other operations.This will not hold true in cases of the business when there are no consulting firms are not present for that domain. Such as lets say a weapons manufacturing , rocket building companies which have limited consumer market and confidentiality problems are present in that business.
Secondly if the company doent want to operate in that business domain anymore then they can simply cancel the contracts and can save significant Research and Development cost involved. If they were to do the same thing with their employees it can cost them in terms of severance and other costs incurred. For example, a real estate company can hire people such as architects , civil engineers who can help them in their new architectural marvel development and can have a contract saying that once the project is completed they will let them go. This wont affect the consultants job because they can be hired by some other company. This definitely saves the real estate company some money because they dont have hire new guy and train them and listen to their inputs once they have required skill.
Furthermore If the company has to listen to its own employees for a particular task which they can get it done from consultants at a much faster rate. This definitely helps the company be at the front of the market compared to other players in the same domain.
With the above-mentioned reasons i can definitely say that if the companies were to hire outside consultants for the company to operate more efficiently it would definitely excel in what they do since they can save money which would have wasted in hiring and training new employees, also not much time wasted in listening to their employees for a mediocre operating plan which can get it done from consultants at a much faster and efficient way.
I completely agree with the strategy of companies
consultants for the company to operate more efficiently
I would rewrite it like this:
consultants for more efficient operations
I have come to this conclusion based
to a large number of people
companies whichthathandleshandle the consultant business model
Moreover, the competition between multiple other companies whichthat operate in thea similar domain causes the companiesthem to become more creative so as to increase their business
lets take the semiconductor industry
All of them use almostvery similar software tools
If they were to develop their own tools its a waste of time because there is a time spent on development and also resource wasted.
The structure of the sentence is totally wrong. This is how it should be written:
If they developed their own tools, they would have to spend both resources and time in this development/project.
Instead, the chip makers can hire external software vendors
If a chip maker wants some other tool they, he can have an expert in that domainarea
The talent pool of consultants inis virtually vast
This can make the companies to excel
This will not hold true in cases of the business when there are no consulting firms are not present for that domain
Structure and coherence problems:
This will not hold true in some cases, for instance when there are no consulting firms present for that domain
Secondly, if the company doentdoesn't want to operate
and can save significant Research and Development costcosts
it can cost thembe expensive in terms of severance and other costs incurred
they don't have to hire new guypersonaland , train them andor listen to their inputs once they have the required skill.
If the company has to listen to its own employees for a particular task which they can get it done from consultants at a much faster rate
Coherence problems.
Instead of listening to its own employees, the company could get a particular task done with its consultants at a much faster rate
With the above-mentioned reasons i can definitely say ...
Without exaggerating, I can say that this is the longest sentence that I have seen in my whole life, in any language. Try to write shorter sentences and use more connectors.
With the above mentioned reasons, I can definitely say that if the companies were to hire outside consultants for a more efficient operation, they would definitely excel in what they do. Mainly because they can save money that would have been wasted in hiring and training new employees. Also, not much time will be wasted in listening to their employees for a mediocre operating plan that can be done from consultants in a much faster and efficient way
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Your essay is decent, but it lacks a bit of coherence. Something that could help you is to learn how to use commas, I saw that you nearly didn't use any commas in your writing. Also, write shorter sentences, this helps both the reader to understand and you to correct.
