Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback % width Posts: 4

Companies are increasingly inclined to adopt offices with open space in lieu of separate rooms

Iloveielts 8 / 16 1  
Jul 24, 2022   #1
Nowadays, a lot of offices have open-space design instead of separate rooms.

Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is observed that several companies are increasingly inclined to adopt offices with open space in lieu of separate rooms for their employees. While this practice could present issues relating to adverse risks to health, I contend that the fostering of closer collaboration among colleagues outweigh the such disadvantages.

On the one hand, working in an open-space environment may leave staff susceptible to contagious disease. As they are situated closer together, a great deal of contact on a daily basis is inevitable. This, in the process, turns out to be a genuine cataclysm to the spread of various pathogens. A case in this point is Corona epidemic disease since companies applying open-space design witnessed a substantial increase in their employees' positive cases which could be alleviated in case of separate rooms. Consequently, their productivity was detrimentally affected, even leaving the companies bankrupted. As it shows, open offices have to confront the health problem.

On the other hand, I believe that its social consolidation may stand a testimony to this innovation. Obviously, congregating in the same room could create ample opportunities for staff to converse with each other. This, therefore, could foster great inclusion in that employees could confide their troubles to their colleague as well as solve their problems relating to workload. A plethora of large companies nowadays divide their human resource into such major brand as Marketing or Administrative where specialized staff could work together in a large space. By that way the firms could not only engender better social relations but also contend with problems systematically.

In conclusion, while applying open-space design to offices instead of separate rooms could face with several downsides, these are outweighed by the stimulation of collaboration and inclusion between employees. It is predicted that separate rooms will be phased out to make room for the open-space environment.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,033 4247  
Jul 25, 2022   #2
Try to avoid using any words that were used in the original presentation so that no questions will be posed as to the ability of the writer to use words beyond a cut and paste process. It is important that the writer have a vast synonyn library for various English words to accomplish this. Build the vocabulary to help create that impression next time.

The writer will not get a truly impressive score with this presentation because the comparison discussion format is incorrect. Since this is an A v. D representation, the idea behind the 2 reasoning paragraphs would be to present, based on the writer's opinion, reasons that disadvantages have been misunderstood since these are actually advantages. That is the idea process behind the paragraph. Do not present a disadvantage and leave that discussion as is. Prove why the opposite of that opinion is true. Support your statement by showing how you consider the discussion differently so that your opinion appears to be the reliable one.
OP Iloveielts 8 / 16 1  
Jul 25, 2022   #3
I still not understand what you mean in the second comment. So what should I do teacher
viethoangpham 1 / 1  
Aug 1, 2022   #4
I think what he means is that when you write "do advantages outweigh the disadvantages" essay, you should prove how advantages/disadvantages outweigh disadvantages/advantages (to have a well score, of course).

In your essay, you leave the disadvantages essay without proving why is inferior to the advantages sides. Writing it in opinion and conclusions is a must and it only clarify your opinion, not supporting it. From my own experience, there are two ways you could tackle this issue:

First, if you decide to write both about advantages and disadvantages sides, you should include 2 disadvantages and 3 advantages (if advantages outweigh disadvantages) and vice versa.

(OPTIONAL) In the 2st paragraph, you could start by saying that the aforementioned disadvantages are not as important as the significant advantages of sth...

Second, like the consultant have said, you write two passages both favor in one side. However in 2nd paragraph, you should say a disadvantage which is thought to be true but it is not. You explain why this thinking is misunderstood and expand your ideas. It is hard but the best way to do this essay.

This is all come frommy own experiences so some informations may be wrong. You should check some reliable documents or ask experts.

Home / Writing Feedback / Companies are increasingly inclined to adopt offices with open space in lieu of separate rooms