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Every company usually has some criteria to employ their workers. One of it to dress "smartly".


ashelarisa48 36 / 52 4  
Sep 2, 2016   #1
Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


Every company usually has some criteria to employ their workers. Some of them give a requirement that the workers have to dress smartly, while others believe that the work performance is more important than their fashion. In my opinion, dress smartly is an essential value when working, because what the employees wear influences their performance.

All organizations certainly have a rule for their workers to dress smartly. I think 'dressing smartly' does not mean they have to dress formally, with a tie, black shoes, glasses, and a long-sleeved shirt. 'Dressing smartly' means that the employees should wear something suitable with their job field and personality. For example, an art and design company usually gives a freedom for their employees to wear a stuff they like. It is such an attractive and unique fashion or something comfortable that allows them to be more creative. In other case, a consultant, a salesman, or a lawyer who have to meet their client, certainly must be looked professional, natty and elegant in order to make their customs feel impressive.

In contrast to a fire brigade or a laboratory worker, they have to wear a special jacket or a laboratory coat when working. It is important to save them from an occupational hazard that cannot be protected if they wear a shirt with a tie. Other example, google, a big web company does not obligate their employees to dress natty. It is suppose to be comfortable and might be a casual shirt to ease them to find a new idea or creativity.

To sum up, I am sure that dressing smartly gives a positive correlation to the quality of job. The employees have to wear something comfortable and suitable to their job in order to increase their work performance.

spachelord 1 / 5 1  
Sep 2, 2016   #2
In my opinion, dressing smartly is an essential value ...

... freedom for their employees to wear a stuff(Too vague, try to be more specific)they like.
In other cases , a consultant, a salesman, or ...

In contrast to a fire brigade or a laboratory worker, they have to wear ... .
"in contrast" and "they" are contradictory. You could say, "in contrast to the aforementioned jobs", or "by contrast" and remove "to a" It is important to save them from an occupational hazard that cannot be protectedWow. Today, we're protecting occupational hazards. JK, you should say "protected from" if they wear a shirt with a tie. Another example, google, a big web company does not obligate their employees to dress natty. It is supposed to be comfortable and might be ...

This belongs to the paragraph above, not this paragraph.
akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Sep 3, 2016   #3
Hi Ashela.,
Woow.. I am delighted to reading your essay because you have shown the positive progress quickly and rapidly. As we can see, you could explain the introduction well and clear with using your own words. You seemed free to explore your mind without giving the meaning of the statement. However, there are micro-keywords having to be delivered.


'Dressing smartly' means that the employees should wear ...

I am surprised since you explained the meaning of Dressing smartly. It is not needed as the task achievement asks you to discuss why workers need dressing smartly. Be careful of the edge of prompts.

Turning to the second body paragraph

they have to wear a special jacket or a laboratory coat when working.

It has been out of the topic. Pay attention to the prompts given. You can explore your ideas, but it has to be the right track. The examiner wanna know your mind to analyze the matter.

Keep Spirit
GOOD LUCK.
ilankelo21 36 / 41 22  
Sep 3, 2016   #4
Ashela, As it is indicated in the prompt, you are actually required to address both views. However, it is noticeable that this essay fails to succeed such a prompt and only focus on one side. Here I try to rewrite your introduction.

Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Every company usually has some criteria [...] wear influences their performance.
Some say a notion of a smart dress for the employees should be adhered to, yet others are not in such idea. While dressing smartly can positively influence on people attention, I would argue that worker's quality should be over prioritized as appearance does not determine an individual capability.
Faridadwi18 67 / 104 13  
Sep 4, 2016   #5
Hi my lovely classmate,

I think you made a good essay. let me give some corrections for you.
- in the first body paragraph you explain about what the meaning of dress smartly. i think you don't need to do that. by doing this you don't answer the task response.

- it is better to explain the quality of work in the second paragraph. the task ask you about appearance and quality of work but you don't explain about the performance of employee depends on their work result.

Hopefully it helps.


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